I've confessed I didn't understand my credit card, now...

I do not care that Michael Jackson is dead eventhough I don't dispute he was the "soundtrack of our childhood" as evvvveryone is pointing out. The best part of the 80's party is always ALWAYS when Billie Jean comes on and the whole thing takes off 35 minutes before that with PYT. Oh, I know... absolutely no one is arguing against that here.

My favorite songs in 1985, however, were "I Just Called to Say I Love You" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."

Pop music is so rad when you're four/five because the sentiments are on a par with, like, sesame street. I totally called to say I love you when I was four - that was the main reason I ever got on a phone... and I definitely just wanted to have fun! Do you see? These were my favorite songs because I KNEW WHAT THEY MEANT. When they came on in the pizzareia, getting up on my chair and singing came as natural as the day was long. And the days were long... because I was four.

My other favorite song was "Invisible Touch" - maybe two years later... this was because my discerning musical taste was developing into an appreciation for the complexities of prog rock I guess. You know when "she grabs right hold of your heart" though? Yeah - I thought that was "that's my pony of heart." Being six, no one had ever really grabbbed hold of my heart. I did however have a concept of ponies being of something. They were "of" the design on their ass. Yeah? you hear me out there ladies? hahahaha

You know what song I love a lot now? "Human Nature." I feel nothing about this death though. I felt sad about George Harrison. I think it's the difference between feeling like you know the person and love the music and feeling like you love the music and the dancing and all but don't know the person and also is his child really named Blanket?

Outrageous!

Okay I am sooo late to this, AND it makes me look like a fool, but oh my God the bank is completely Fucking Me Over and I had No Idea.

I've long noticed that my credit card is not what I thought a credit card was because I have to pay back the whole amount in order to have credit to that amount, and it's a low amount so it's kind of a joke. Sometime in the past someone told me that the key to a credit card is paying back double the minimum each month and you're always square. This is not true at all! Did you know that? I think everyone knew that but me.

So, understanding that my understanding was confused I went there, thinking that what I wanted was for them to extend my limit. I effing always pay double the minimum on that thing so... time to shine, go to the bank, yes? NO. NO. I get the populist outrage better than ever. You might be interested to know that whatever outstanding balance I have any given 10th day of the month I am charged 27.something% on that- every month. Hunh - okay -- well can you stop that - lower that interest rate then, bank? No they'd rather not. Have a nice day bank. That's fabulous.

So it turns out what I have is a card that if I use it for any amount at all I'd better, before 30 days go by, pay back exactly that much. (well - if it's the ninth of the month I think I have to pay it back THAT DAY - not even possible) I could swear I've been jacked even worse now that I'm looking at how many times they claim this has happened, and given that I've paid it to zero plenty of times too, but how can I prove it? It seems impossible to prove. The other kicker was that the bank guy's big suggestion was opening up another card. That's rich.

Everyone in the world already knows this so I just feel dumb. But glad I know now. I guess the thing is to use it on a cup of coffee once a month and pay that back "to zero" every month for a year. Everyone already knew this crap! This really is a confessional blog.

Anyway - in the end it isn't that bad -- smoking cigarettes is depleting my funds a lot lot more, but maybe you're impressed that a girl could live and work in New York and not understand her own credit card for so long.

Live and learn. In other blog news I will be e-asking-out that cute younger co-worker right before I embark for Italy - all emailing this: "Hi, July 15 my friend and my brother and I are having ask-someone-(cute)-to-a-show-night. I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow, but we're going to Southpaw for motown/soul bands July 15, once I'm back. Officially inviting you, A."

Scary hunh - and use the work emails? or try to do it on facebook? It's no big thing and I'd say the trip to Italy should pretty effectively take the edge off (for me.) Do you think I should take out the "(cute)"?

MMmmmmm I'm going to Italy.

Love
Alexis

Agenda

Clean my room
Gather drycleaning
take to dry cleaner
continue on to staples
buy paper, ink, camera battery charger (gddammit - where is it?)
come home - print out play
go to soho spa for spray tan
reread play en route - think sophisticatedly about and also creatively
turn golden and lovely with spray
go to interview regarding workshopping said play
dinner with "model" who is kinda strange but hey, dinner

that is all

Before I begin, a confession - I still think life is better with a work crush in spite of all that that has wrought in the past. Also, I have a totally conventional fantasy about such types, and it is one of my favorites. So there's this one at my work now - oh he's just edible I tell you! CUTE. - research revealed he is probably 24yo as he graduated in '06! He has a cute cute face and wears glasses and I fantasize about being his girlfriend. I imagine having sex with him, and sweet intelligent pillow talk, and then doing moderately athletic things with him on weekends, and having a wedding where I dance with my dad and everyone is pleased to death that I met the upwardly mobile, masculine yet sensitive, beautiful boy to spend my life with. THIS IS TRUE. You can stop being my friend if you have to but I really hope you won't.

love
Alexis

People really underrate

chain smoking, tunes, and screwdrivers at the homestead at 4:00pm. (I might overrate chain smoking, tunes, and screwdrivers at 4am. hee - it's happened once but, truth be told 2:00am is where the real danger is.)

That is all?

KILL CORPORATE

Honestly please - somebody kill corporate. We have Barack Obama now can we please have some kind of actual killing corporate. Do I have to write about it? Most likely not. You know what it's like. I'm a mad woman this morning. I'm the character in the book raving about the lunatics being sane and the sane people being lunatcis. This whole week man. Your corporate outfits look stupid to me this week corporate people. Also everything that comes out of your mouths. Why don't you do everyone a favor and take a day off and do some fucking drugs? Come in here and say something genuine since original is not a possibility? Buy a paint set or some shit. Break a guitar as you cannot play one. Call out sick shitheads. It's so lame how you don't. The worst of you are the buy-in ones. I've always been really repelled by violence but I think I could enjoy hurting you. Get a goddam sense of humour. people who think they have it all figured out, all self-congratulatory because they eliminated doubt and nuance focusing exclusively on "the bottom line." All having your phone answered. Eat dicks. I want to slap your face with a gun. :) :) :) TGIF.