Guys I am so hyper

Really... I'm crazy right now. Free-write!

So today I put "I'm leaving" in the mail to the Lark Play Development Center and that is why I'm insane a ce moment. The barest of revision, the erasure of my contact info, the attachment of stamps; I bopped in line at the post office. I feel nuts.

All submission to anything is not fit for human minds - or this human mind. I hate dichotomy. Or let's say I stress dichotomy (see Yom Kippur.) In this case it goes: "This is painful - I do not at all think they will want to develop this play." or instead, "This is painful - I hope they see enough in this weirdo thing to remember my name if I have something ele for them next year - which I'll feel the same about!"

WHATEVER. The plus side is maybe doing all this envelope stuff today and pulling out my resume will put me more in application mode for schools. I'm sort of through thinking I'll get into any this year - but as above, I think I should get something together so schools get used to getting applications from me. It's just not good for my brain. School would be so fun for me. Imagine not coming to the office. That will be a whole other thing for my brain. And then there is the question of deserving. And the question of fishing for conch in the Bahamas for the rest of my life. I feel crazy today.

I love Andrew Bird music.

I had a fun housewarming see facebook.

Per Andrew Bird - listened to on the subway today. Guess what? i don't know what commodities are. (sometimes I start thinking baout what words mean when I'm listening to his songs) I thought I knew this one -- it's something saleable no? But what is a commodities trader then? What if you work in "commodities?" Maybe I don't know English.

Also, possibly facebook makes this blog more retarded than ever. It has "status" thingy and it has pictures too.

Crazy today. Coffee today.

My apartment is wonderful. It's okay if I don't get into schools. It's okay if I don't finish my applications even. But I have so much feeling absolutely unhinged to look forward to if I do!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Alexis