actually blogging in bed and can't believe how long it's been since I've done this (not since the old studio ) - bed is good. bed is great.
boys are bad. boys are bad. this post will be not of the graceful witty confessional type but of the shilling for commiseration with Chrissy type. Kelly too?
What is really amazing and unlike how it should be -- but it's a recurring thing and is definitely how it it - is that boys don't call after you have drunk sex. It seems like they will because it was really good and there were all these comments about "next time." Well, it's a damn shame because my response to that (good sex after drinks with a truly nice friend) is sometimes (and who knows where and when? no fast rule): Let me at it (coach)! -- Could we consider having one of these "relationship" things where we have sex and have fun together? but -
okay, but -(and here is the part where I finally figure out what bothers me about the "he's just not that into you" catchphrase phenomenon)
but, if he hasn't called then he "is just not that into me" and out of self respect I move on.
I don't want to get into details of anything. I guess my point is that while I think "he's just not that into you" is a fair enough thing that women should understand -- you definitely don't want to be a girl making up a story for someone who is in fact not that into you, my point is be flexible with yourself, because I, for one, may know a boy is just not that into me, but I'm still gonna call him if we were kind of friends before and make sure I get some more explanation than that. (I mean more explanation than none) He's just not that into me - well sure, I won't start the wedding planning, but as much as I deserve to have that knowledge - that if someone isn't trying then the reason is that they don't care to try, so too do I deserve not to shoulder the considering of it. I'm saying that personally I like to confirm that it was interesting later, that I felt certain ways about it, that we're supposed to be friends and so I would have appreciated a phone call. that's just me. I think it's a little bit bullshit that the solution to how guys'll not call you and you'll feel high and dry is supposedly to figure out "they're not that into you." I think that that's half of it, but you might also need to talk about it - if you have some other existing relationship like friendship or coworkerness or something. That's not cool that its just my job to understand he's not interested. If it's an obvious one night stand that's one thing. or if we're like internet dating or something... in those situations, no phonecalls mean that people just aren't that into eachtoher. Easy. But if there is any pre-existing relationship, then I think "he's just not that into you" is great as a catchphrase that's totally spot-on about where you stand. But it absolves the non-caller, the not-into person just a little too much.
At least me - i felt kind of excited to reconnect with the person inciting this posting. But he didn't follow up about hanging out this weekend so I get he's just not that into me. But it makes me feel better to think about just calling him next week and telling him what I felt and thought was going on. I resent the catchphrase for the same reason I resent so many things that I should just ignore: oversimplifies, acts like I'VE got a problem. And you know, I know when I got problems. this is not my problem. there are other problems.
i like how inarticulate this is. I'm sure chrissy's gonna know what I mean too. She's awesome.
Anyway though - I'm silly- because "he's just not that into you but if you had a preexisting relationship of any kind you can make a phone call to get straight with each other" is a too long catchphrase that would diminish the point of the catchphrase for people who need to hear it because they're annoying their friends. I still like it though, So, as usual, i wish i were queen and made all the rules.
XO
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
"OhmyGod I felt so sad for that retarded kid today"
That's my overheard in new york of yesterday as i don't know what to call this post yet.
kungfuramone shouted out my blog on his blog as being of the confessional type. Maybe this means peeps of his are gonna read it. I figure I better write something new then, because other wise they're just gong to read my last confession of stockholm syndrome in regards to working around financial people.
Count Fosco (but I like to call him Focso) is really good - I read that one all the time KFR.
oh no-- I have to go do work - just got an email. That's such bad news. I was going to try and confess all sorts of things... Later I guess.
Love
me
kungfuramone shouted out my blog on his blog as being of the confessional type. Maybe this means peeps of his are gonna read it. I figure I better write something new then, because other wise they're just gong to read my last confession of stockholm syndrome in regards to working around financial people.
Count Fosco (but I like to call him Focso) is really good - I read that one all the time KFR.
oh no-- I have to go do work - just got an email. That's such bad news. I was going to try and confess all sorts of things... Later I guess.
Love
me
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I haven't been writing
because I have too much to say. Or I feel that I observe so much. I've spent the last week in the ceo's office and I hear the emotions that come out of the financial crisis for people who live finance - I don't have many conclusions - I hear the language of money though, and I also know the life, but not by living it. I've never envied the co-ceo, the ceo's son. I work for above the boards people. Amazingly, mind-blowingingly wealthy, but above the boards, and with nothing if not a sense of responsibility. It looks like the weight of the world to me. It's funny that Atlas stands carrying in front of our buliding.
I've been amazed by the boys' club (some girls may be in it too but it's a boys' club) of "libertarian," and "market" and "cycles." I also think there's value to all those ideas. They're ideas, and they do things to the world. Today, about to climb 66 flights to the Top of the Rock (charity event - it was okay actually! Tiring... especially near the top) we found ourselves looking at two "communist" murals that were installed in the 30's. They had gears, and people in overalls and caps... uh... laboring. A (n attractive - how come I haven't noticed this) guy (? 'cuz he's too fratty) notes the communist murals. I say, "The only way to happiness is through hard incessant labor." I say it medium quietly and so I have to repeat it and be like "oh, I mean I think that sounds communist." They're like Yeah, all this art deco stuff is from the thirties. I say, "You know they give tours... we should all go on a tour" (it was a company thing and top of the rock belongs to the company. I probably have to erase this post because it identifies who I work for?) So the first guy says, "Oh I give tours! Yea i give the tours, but I leave out the Communist part?" I go, "why?" Didn't get an answer to that. They say, hey well, isn't that though, isn't it scoialism? You know, now that the government owns a share of the banks, isnt that, I mean isn't it socialism? yeah, says one, "In communism it's like one dictator." So I'm like, well yea, that's what happens, but communism is the idea that the means of production belongs to the people. Dude's like "yea... the proletariat." I'm like, sure, un-hunh. :) !
My point is, A) these guys are very nice guys - too bad we didn't go for brunch. I don't even know for sure that they're part of the boys club I mentioned (but would bet on yes, they are.) but B!... B) Why would you not mention the communism of a communist mural giving a tour of a building that depicts recent history of our market? That communist mural is in a building designed for advancing that market we all love so much. Americans may be undone by their discomfort with ideas. Usually, these guys have a damn script running, where the new deal never really helped the economy and only the war really did that and ... selective memory! turned into a script! Why the simplification? All these people are smart enough not to do it. And also I want to yell that I don't know about your ultra-performing market but isn't it clear that job creation is the thing. Labor - labor is a part of the market fools. You don't have to censor the part about people being communists in the thirties and that being a positive story about our national character. When we had to, we pulled together. Why did we make that a dirty concept later? These guys were totally nice; I just get frustrated when people act turn ideas into dirty words. Call people communists! Call them aliens from Mars! I've always thought the one thing we do have is free speech. It's my, probably naive belief, that the best thing about Americans is that, for the most part, we'd manage to go collectively fucking crazy if they tried to really take away free speech. The dangerous thing is our taking it away from ourselves, equating things that are not the same for I don't know what reason - like idiocy and compassion. That one really worries me. But anyway, if it makes anyone feel better, the people running my company are rich but not discompassionate. I am not in favor of a guillotine at all. I feel optimistic, - they're not enjoying nothing but bad news after nothing but good news for so long. But, at least in New York, Bloomberg, some other big guys, they want to help and they're smart. I just wish they could share my loving feelings for Obama.
That I feel clear about. Taxing the rich is something I feel a bit unclear about. Someone's got to be taxed and so I guess it better be them. Okay. So I actually feel really clear about all of this. I'm just at work too often keeping my mouth firmly shut about it. Glad I could get to this blog post.
I've been amazed by the boys' club (some girls may be in it too but it's a boys' club) of "libertarian," and "market" and "cycles." I also think there's value to all those ideas. They're ideas, and they do things to the world. Today, about to climb 66 flights to the Top of the Rock (charity event - it was okay actually! Tiring... especially near the top) we found ourselves looking at two "communist" murals that were installed in the 30's. They had gears, and people in overalls and caps... uh... laboring. A (n attractive - how come I haven't noticed this) guy (? 'cuz he's too fratty) notes the communist murals. I say, "The only way to happiness is through hard incessant labor." I say it medium quietly and so I have to repeat it and be like "oh, I mean I think that sounds communist." They're like Yeah, all this art deco stuff is from the thirties. I say, "You know they give tours... we should all go on a tour" (it was a company thing and top of the rock belongs to the company. I probably have to erase this post because it identifies who I work for?) So the first guy says, "Oh I give tours! Yea i give the tours, but I leave out the Communist part?" I go, "why?" Didn't get an answer to that. They say, hey well, isn't that though, isn't it scoialism? You know, now that the government owns a share of the banks, isnt that, I mean isn't it socialism? yeah, says one, "In communism it's like one dictator." So I'm like, well yea, that's what happens, but communism is the idea that the means of production belongs to the people. Dude's like "yea... the proletariat." I'm like, sure, un-hunh. :) !
My point is, A) these guys are very nice guys - too bad we didn't go for brunch. I don't even know for sure that they're part of the boys club I mentioned (but would bet on yes, they are.) but B!... B) Why would you not mention the communism of a communist mural giving a tour of a building that depicts recent history of our market? That communist mural is in a building designed for advancing that market we all love so much. Americans may be undone by their discomfort with ideas. Usually, these guys have a damn script running, where the new deal never really helped the economy and only the war really did that and ... selective memory! turned into a script! Why the simplification? All these people are smart enough not to do it. And also I want to yell that I don't know about your ultra-performing market but isn't it clear that job creation is the thing. Labor - labor is a part of the market fools. You don't have to censor the part about people being communists in the thirties and that being a positive story about our national character. When we had to, we pulled together. Why did we make that a dirty concept later? These guys were totally nice; I just get frustrated when people act turn ideas into dirty words. Call people communists! Call them aliens from Mars! I've always thought the one thing we do have is free speech. It's my, probably naive belief, that the best thing about Americans is that, for the most part, we'd manage to go collectively fucking crazy if they tried to really take away free speech. The dangerous thing is our taking it away from ourselves, equating things that are not the same for I don't know what reason - like idiocy and compassion. That one really worries me. But anyway, if it makes anyone feel better, the people running my company are rich but not discompassionate. I am not in favor of a guillotine at all. I feel optimistic, - they're not enjoying nothing but bad news after nothing but good news for so long. But, at least in New York, Bloomberg, some other big guys, they want to help and they're smart. I just wish they could share my loving feelings for Obama.
That I feel clear about. Taxing the rich is something I feel a bit unclear about. Someone's got to be taxed and so I guess it better be them. Okay. So I actually feel really clear about all of this. I'm just at work too often keeping my mouth firmly shut about it. Glad I could get to this blog post.
Friday, February 13, 2009
ha HA
Two things contributed to a great great idea last night...
A) I watched Survivor - someone I know is on it and that is a solid way to start watching Survivor again and remembering that its premise is really good and that it's the original reality/ elimination (i.e. not as fucked up as these "everyone lick this nasty guy's tongue at the same time!' shows) - basically the essential reality elimation.
B) I talked on the phone all night with Aaron as per usual until my neck hurt as per usual and I was in bed and needed to go to sleep because I'm flying to Texas tonight! Talking on the phone from 9pm-11pm means you can strip off your clothes, you can fill and start the humidifier, but you can't do much else -- I gotta hook up the blue tooth to my phone asap. It's pretty annoying to talk on the phone from whenever until you go to sleep but the sweetie on the other end can make it happen despite all the annoyance you accrue as you skip toothbrushing, cleaning, etc.
ANYWAY -- What if there was a show called "American Irritable"?! - OH SHIT WOULD I WIN THAT SHOW!!!!! (Or so I thought until I overheardheard the daughter of Aaron's roomate, Ana-Clara -- recently brought to their house from her native Brazil- refusing to take a shower - while her lack of citizenship might disqualify Ana-Clara, the only way I can see losing American Irritable would be if over-tired children were allowed on the show. Otherwise, Aaron agreed, my style would be simple yet enormously effective. "Leave me Alone." "Don't talk to me." "Don't touch me")
The other news is that I'm flying to Texas. There was a fiery plane crash that killed everybody on the flight in question + someone in a house yesterday. I wish we don't crash and I know I'll have fun when we don't crash and I get there!
A) I watched Survivor - someone I know is on it and that is a solid way to start watching Survivor again and remembering that its premise is really good and that it's the original reality/ elimination (i.e. not as fucked up as these "everyone lick this nasty guy's tongue at the same time!' shows) - basically the essential reality elimation.
B) I talked on the phone all night with Aaron as per usual until my neck hurt as per usual and I was in bed and needed to go to sleep because I'm flying to Texas tonight! Talking on the phone from 9pm-11pm means you can strip off your clothes, you can fill and start the humidifier, but you can't do much else -- I gotta hook up the blue tooth to my phone asap. It's pretty annoying to talk on the phone from whenever until you go to sleep but the sweetie on the other end can make it happen despite all the annoyance you accrue as you skip toothbrushing, cleaning, etc.
ANYWAY -- What if there was a show called "American Irritable"?! - OH SHIT WOULD I WIN THAT SHOW!!!!! (Or so I thought until I overheardheard the daughter of Aaron's roomate, Ana-Clara -- recently brought to their house from her native Brazil- refusing to take a shower - while her lack of citizenship might disqualify Ana-Clara, the only way I can see losing American Irritable would be if over-tired children were allowed on the show. Otherwise, Aaron agreed, my style would be simple yet enormously effective. "Leave me Alone." "Don't talk to me." "Don't touch me")
The other news is that I'm flying to Texas. There was a fiery plane crash that killed everybody on the flight in question + someone in a house yesterday. I wish we don't crash and I know I'll have fun when we don't crash and I get there!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
all the rage
On facebook you're supposed to post a note of 25 things about yourself and send it to 25 friends. I'm going to steal Amy's name for hers for mine : 25 blahs abut blah.
Anyway, no facebook at work so I'm posting it here first - I can copy it tonight if I still care.
1. I already have a secret blog where I've chronicled most of the feelings I've had, particularly angry, bad, or sad, for the last two years... I was self-indulgent already. So this note probably qualifies as self-indulgent-redundant - but, hey, I like the challenge- 25 things seems like a lot, and I'm going to try to keep it new.
2. Doing this reminds me of a childhood event that I'll never live down - to myself. To myself, I'll never live it down. In fourth grade, there was this thing that on Tuesdays all the girls would wear a (heinous) denim dress from the Gap over a bright yellow turtleneck (this was actually quite gorgeous - just kidding - it was also, obviously, hideous) also from the Gap. I didn't come up with this. But I made my mother take me to the Gap in Princeton on a Monday night like it was a total necessity that I do this just because the girls were ALL DOING IT and I didn't want to be left out. The next day all the girls in our class wore it but two: those two were like, 'Yea, we think this is stupid," and I immediately felt that I had done the Wrong thing - but there I was in a denim dress and yellow turtleneck. Yea, I'm still ashamed I was such a joiner. I tend to think that if I hadn't moved to New Jersey in second grade, awful things like being the kind of person that insists I need this dumb outfit from the Gap so everyone will like me wouldn't have happened. (This event just can never be fit into my personal myth where I am nothing like this!) But if I hadn't moved from New York, today I'd probably be some awful New York Type. Maybe in fourth grade I would have been snorting coke and shoplifting from Bergdorfs to fit in. That would be unequivocally cooler, but I also wouldn't know all y'all probably... I'd just know the Calvin Kleins... or something? What am I talking about? So... anyway, that said, no more apologizing for joining in and telling 23 more things.
3) I think the first half of "Fame" is the best movie ever made and the second half is the worst. I am totally amazed by this phenomenon. Irene Cara's breasts are basically your line of demarcation.... which side (best movie, worst movie) the exposure of her tits falls on is movable. What a phenomenon.
4) Put any amount of tabouleh in front of me and I will eat it all.
5) Some people love musical theater and some don't. If they don't, then they will not understand how it is that you can watch this movie, "Gypsy." I'm here to tell you it's pretty fun to suggest they watch it anyway, and look at their faces during "Have an Eggroll Mr. Goldstone." That'll really crack you up... if you love musicals (while understanding that most people don't.)
6) I miss my brothers and sisters. I'm way older than all of them, but I wish I could just hang out with them all the time. Some of them are mature, others immature - me, I just wish I could hang out with them all the time.
7) Teaching sixth grade social studies in that new school in Crown Heights was hard on me. Or, well, -- I won't mis-use the word "exhausted" again.
8) And four years later, or whatever this is, my job is actually excrutiatingly UN-demanding. It would be nice to find engaging work that isn't so much like being nailed to cross. ;)
9) I like it when people are brilliant and hilarious. Brilliant or hilarious alright too.
10) Oh here's one: I have a really hard time not liking any woman that I think is a knock-out. I basically like all celebrity women. I like talking about celebrities alright. It's decent fun. But I seem to like all celebrity women aside from Jennifer Love Hewitt. So, rarely a very dynamic conversation from my end. ("I like her." "Yeah. I like her.")
11) Then there's the actresses of great talent. These people I love. Edie Falco.
12) Pretty preoccupied with the battle of the sexes. It's in most of my writing.
13) My most bad-ass ability has been for getting into events/places where I don't belong/ haven't been invited. You can be this bad-ass too, but I don't want to tell you all of the secrets. Honestly, well here: the largest part of the secret is that you JUST GO IN. Another part of the secret is that people working such events really don't give a rats ass. Remember that. Even bouncers. They don't really care. Let this inform l'approche. No more information for you. This is my most bad ass thing!
14) I have conversations (in my head) with the advertising on the subway - sometimes kind of personal angry ones. For a while (while it was hanging in the subway -- a period of some months, about three years ago) I was probably spending 20 minutes a day annoyed at/ internally yelling at this advertisement for Interboro Community College; it went: "If I Can. You Can." Are you kidding? Later they changed it -- to a dash. A dash. "If I can - you can." That's still not right.
15) I'm also hung up on the proper use of "less" and "fewer". Even passing someone on the streeet saying, "Let's go somewhere with less people," I do not stand a chance of not thinking, "You mean fewer."
16) I'm a little concerned that this list is turning into the chronicles of an obnoxious woman. :)
17) Oh here's an easy one: The biggest obsession of my life is and has been The Sopranos. I'll never have my fill.
18) Not exactly on purpose there's a theme to my living room, and that theme is branches. I also have some underwear that goes with that theme and this is something I'm happy about.
19) On Neil LaBute: Fat Pig was pretty good - I read it yesteday. I usually don't like his plays because usually when he has an asshole character, that character is just an asshole. I am totally fascinated by assholes. I think it's a very rare asshole who is just an asshole. That is all. For now. On this topic.
20) Aaron said he felt like he could go on and on forever writing these. I am flagging. Maybe that's because Aaron has done things like collect the sleep from his eye in a jar. hahahaha
21) I show affection with teasing and some degree of meanness. I'll defend this to the end.
22) I'm officiating a wedding this Memorial Day weekend. What do you think of that?
23) I'm grossed out by quite a few things but perhaps most of all by drinking blood. Not like a vampire -- sucking it like a vampire is FINE AND SEXY - ever since True Blood I know for sure Vampires are damn sexy. I'm talking about just regualar drinking blood. That is so gross. Oh gross.
24) There was once a moth the size of a pigeon in my overhead light in my old studio. That was so scary my heart rate was all sped up until the morning. I was hysterical. I killed it by spraying it with Raid into a closet which I then did not open for a couple weeks. It can't have been good to inhale that much Raid. So far I'm alive to tell the tale.
25) Oh, sort of back to 13: I've worked in service and I can't stand to see people treat servers of any kind, people performing any kind of service, with condescension. Anyone who acts like that is a big horses' ass. Maybe what I mean is: I love talking to everybody. I love New York. Tip your cabbies.
XO
A
P.S. FOR BLOG READERS
BLOG THINGS
FRONT PAGE OF METRO DAILY NEWS TODAY
story 1: Queens is the best loved borough by its own residents!
story 2: A girl is suing the Hawaian Tropic Tropic Zone restaurant (where the servers wear bikinis) for saying she was too ghetto to work there. I hope she wins - I hope she wins on these obvious grounds: NO ONE is too ghetto for the Hawain Tropic Zone.
Anyway, no facebook at work so I'm posting it here first - I can copy it tonight if I still care.
1. I already have a secret blog where I've chronicled most of the feelings I've had, particularly angry, bad, or sad, for the last two years... I was self-indulgent already. So this note probably qualifies as self-indulgent-redundant - but, hey, I like the challenge- 25 things seems like a lot, and I'm going to try to keep it new.
2. Doing this reminds me of a childhood event that I'll never live down - to myself. To myself, I'll never live it down. In fourth grade, there was this thing that on Tuesdays all the girls would wear a (heinous) denim dress from the Gap over a bright yellow turtleneck (this was actually quite gorgeous - just kidding - it was also, obviously, hideous) also from the Gap. I didn't come up with this. But I made my mother take me to the Gap in Princeton on a Monday night like it was a total necessity that I do this just because the girls were ALL DOING IT and I didn't want to be left out. The next day all the girls in our class wore it but two: those two were like, 'Yea, we think this is stupid," and I immediately felt that I had done the Wrong thing - but there I was in a denim dress and yellow turtleneck. Yea, I'm still ashamed I was such a joiner. I tend to think that if I hadn't moved to New Jersey in second grade, awful things like being the kind of person that insists I need this dumb outfit from the Gap so everyone will like me wouldn't have happened. (This event just can never be fit into my personal myth where I am nothing like this!) But if I hadn't moved from New York, today I'd probably be some awful New York Type. Maybe in fourth grade I would have been snorting coke and shoplifting from Bergdorfs to fit in. That would be unequivocally cooler, but I also wouldn't know all y'all probably... I'd just know the Calvin Kleins... or something? What am I talking about? So... anyway, that said, no more apologizing for joining in and telling 23 more things.
3) I think the first half of "Fame" is the best movie ever made and the second half is the worst. I am totally amazed by this phenomenon. Irene Cara's breasts are basically your line of demarcation.... which side (best movie, worst movie) the exposure of her tits falls on is movable. What a phenomenon.
4) Put any amount of tabouleh in front of me and I will eat it all.
5) Some people love musical theater and some don't. If they don't, then they will not understand how it is that you can watch this movie, "Gypsy." I'm here to tell you it's pretty fun to suggest they watch it anyway, and look at their faces during "Have an Eggroll Mr. Goldstone." That'll really crack you up... if you love musicals (while understanding that most people don't.)
6) I miss my brothers and sisters. I'm way older than all of them, but I wish I could just hang out with them all the time. Some of them are mature, others immature - me, I just wish I could hang out with them all the time.
7) Teaching sixth grade social studies in that new school in Crown Heights was hard on me. Or, well, -- I won't mis-use the word "exhausted" again.
8) And four years later, or whatever this is, my job is actually excrutiatingly UN-demanding. It would be nice to find engaging work that isn't so much like being nailed to cross. ;)
9) I like it when people are brilliant and hilarious. Brilliant or hilarious alright too.
10) Oh here's one: I have a really hard time not liking any woman that I think is a knock-out. I basically like all celebrity women. I like talking about celebrities alright. It's decent fun. But I seem to like all celebrity women aside from Jennifer Love Hewitt. So, rarely a very dynamic conversation from my end. ("I like her." "Yeah. I like her.")
11) Then there's the actresses of great talent. These people I love. Edie Falco.
12) Pretty preoccupied with the battle of the sexes. It's in most of my writing.
13) My most bad-ass ability has been for getting into events/places where I don't belong/ haven't been invited. You can be this bad-ass too, but I don't want to tell you all of the secrets. Honestly, well here: the largest part of the secret is that you JUST GO IN. Another part of the secret is that people working such events really don't give a rats ass. Remember that. Even bouncers. They don't really care. Let this inform l'approche. No more information for you. This is my most bad ass thing!
14) I have conversations (in my head) with the advertising on the subway - sometimes kind of personal angry ones. For a while (while it was hanging in the subway -- a period of some months, about three years ago) I was probably spending 20 minutes a day annoyed at/ internally yelling at this advertisement for Interboro Community College; it went: "If I Can. You Can." Are you kidding? Later they changed it -- to a dash. A dash. "If I can - you can." That's still not right.
15) I'm also hung up on the proper use of "less" and "fewer". Even passing someone on the streeet saying, "Let's go somewhere with less people," I do not stand a chance of not thinking, "You mean fewer."
16) I'm a little concerned that this list is turning into the chronicles of an obnoxious woman. :)
17) Oh here's an easy one: The biggest obsession of my life is and has been The Sopranos. I'll never have my fill.
18) Not exactly on purpose there's a theme to my living room, and that theme is branches. I also have some underwear that goes with that theme and this is something I'm happy about.
19) On Neil LaBute: Fat Pig was pretty good - I read it yesteday. I usually don't like his plays because usually when he has an asshole character, that character is just an asshole. I am totally fascinated by assholes. I think it's a very rare asshole who is just an asshole. That is all. For now. On this topic.
20) Aaron said he felt like he could go on and on forever writing these. I am flagging. Maybe that's because Aaron has done things like collect the sleep from his eye in a jar. hahahaha
21) I show affection with teasing and some degree of meanness. I'll defend this to the end.
22) I'm officiating a wedding this Memorial Day weekend. What do you think of that?
23) I'm grossed out by quite a few things but perhaps most of all by drinking blood. Not like a vampire -- sucking it like a vampire is FINE AND SEXY - ever since True Blood I know for sure Vampires are damn sexy. I'm talking about just regualar drinking blood. That is so gross. Oh gross.
24) There was once a moth the size of a pigeon in my overhead light in my old studio. That was so scary my heart rate was all sped up until the morning. I was hysterical. I killed it by spraying it with Raid into a closet which I then did not open for a couple weeks. It can't have been good to inhale that much Raid. So far I'm alive to tell the tale.
25) Oh, sort of back to 13: I've worked in service and I can't stand to see people treat servers of any kind, people performing any kind of service, with condescension. Anyone who acts like that is a big horses' ass. Maybe what I mean is: I love talking to everybody. I love New York. Tip your cabbies.
XO
A
P.S. FOR BLOG READERS
BLOG THINGS
FRONT PAGE OF METRO DAILY NEWS TODAY
story 1: Queens is the best loved borough by its own residents!
story 2: A girl is suing the Hawaian Tropic Tropic Zone restaurant (where the servers wear bikinis) for saying she was too ghetto to work there. I hope she wins - I hope she wins on these obvious grounds: NO ONE is too ghetto for the Hawain Tropic Zone.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
blog blog blog
So it's been a while. What am I doing? Oh, drinking vodka tonics, getting high, washing brassieres, throwing a very good dance party for said bras.
I might be a little too drunk to post.
All I really want to tell you is I've reached the point with my apartment that it's the place I always most want to be. So now I'm a crazy shut-in. But I'm so pleased to just know what I am and be it. :) I'm kidding. I mean I think I'm more than just a shut-in, but, as an MO (with the occasional forray into the wild world, then back as fast as I can be carried to) being a shut-in -- yes.
So here I am, just rocking in the dark, planning laundry, lighting candles....
If I were doing, like, an update, I'd tell you wow, everyone is losing their job. I say, "I guess I'll wait tables," but that's going to be the end of my happy home party? Well, maybe not... ugh, as I remember, waiting tables is exhausting and alcoholic making....
but
right now, everything good.
Love you,
Alexis
I might be a little too drunk to post.
All I really want to tell you is I've reached the point with my apartment that it's the place I always most want to be. So now I'm a crazy shut-in. But I'm so pleased to just know what I am and be it. :) I'm kidding. I mean I think I'm more than just a shut-in, but, as an MO (with the occasional forray into the wild world, then back as fast as I can be carried to) being a shut-in -- yes.
So here I am, just rocking in the dark, planning laundry, lighting candles....
If I were doing, like, an update, I'd tell you wow, everyone is losing their job. I say, "I guess I'll wait tables," but that's going to be the end of my happy home party? Well, maybe not... ugh, as I remember, waiting tables is exhausting and alcoholic making....
but
right now, everything good.
Love you,
Alexis
Sunday, December 14, 2008
but now you only call me when you're feeling depressed when you feel happy/ I'm/ so far from your mind
going to blog quickly
Yesterday i worked on my nutso play for I think 12 hours. had trouble sleeping so in it, so ready for more.
And then WHAT happens? Why did I feel so crappy all day? I watched six feet unders for a bit (bad idea when you're by yourself feeling down) then I stopped, got ready to work more (i've been half-assedly "working" for forty minutes or something) and, you know, cried for ten minutes. I wanted to. It was fine. But I had been feeling so elated for a little stretch. Crying about nothing is always such a weird one. I will say it's better than when you feel the same way but don't cry.
Am I really insecure? Does everybody know but me? I was so weird this morning.. I have this boy, man... coming to visit me in January. I know he's excited to. It's this good thing I'm happy about. But I psyched myself out about it this morning. He said hi on facebook like he does most weekend mornings and I don't think he knows but I was taking everything he said (typed) wrong and bad and am i really that nuts? only one Sunday a month - post menstrual? only when I hermit myself away for the weekend. If I DON'T hermit myself away then I'll really go crazy because I won't finish my applications.
Still happy I swear.
I just stress myself out sometimes. A mind is a terrible thing to have. :)
love
Yesterday i worked on my nutso play for I think 12 hours. had trouble sleeping so in it, so ready for more.
And then WHAT happens? Why did I feel so crappy all day? I watched six feet unders for a bit (bad idea when you're by yourself feeling down) then I stopped, got ready to work more (i've been half-assedly "working" for forty minutes or something) and, you know, cried for ten minutes. I wanted to. It was fine. But I had been feeling so elated for a little stretch. Crying about nothing is always such a weird one. I will say it's better than when you feel the same way but don't cry.
Am I really insecure? Does everybody know but me? I was so weird this morning.. I have this boy, man... coming to visit me in January. I know he's excited to. It's this good thing I'm happy about. But I psyched myself out about it this morning. He said hi on facebook like he does most weekend mornings and I don't think he knows but I was taking everything he said (typed) wrong and bad and am i really that nuts? only one Sunday a month - post menstrual? only when I hermit myself away for the weekend. If I DON'T hermit myself away then I'll really go crazy because I won't finish my applications.
Still happy I swear.
I just stress myself out sometimes. A mind is a terrible thing to have. :)
love
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