Guys I am so hyper

Really... I'm crazy right now. Free-write!

So today I put "I'm leaving" in the mail to the Lark Play Development Center and that is why I'm insane a ce moment. The barest of revision, the erasure of my contact info, the attachment of stamps; I bopped in line at the post office. I feel nuts.

All submission to anything is not fit for human minds - or this human mind. I hate dichotomy. Or let's say I stress dichotomy (see Yom Kippur.) In this case it goes: "This is painful - I do not at all think they will want to develop this play." or instead, "This is painful - I hope they see enough in this weirdo thing to remember my name if I have something ele for them next year - which I'll feel the same about!"

WHATEVER. The plus side is maybe doing all this envelope stuff today and pulling out my resume will put me more in application mode for schools. I'm sort of through thinking I'll get into any this year - but as above, I think I should get something together so schools get used to getting applications from me. It's just not good for my brain. School would be so fun for me. Imagine not coming to the office. That will be a whole other thing for my brain. And then there is the question of deserving. And the question of fishing for conch in the Bahamas for the rest of my life. I feel crazy today.

I love Andrew Bird music.

I had a fun housewarming see facebook.

Per Andrew Bird - listened to on the subway today. Guess what? i don't know what commodities are. (sometimes I start thinking baout what words mean when I'm listening to his songs) I thought I knew this one -- it's something saleable no? But what is a commodities trader then? What if you work in "commodities?" Maybe I don't know English.

Also, possibly facebook makes this blog more retarded than ever. It has "status" thingy and it has pictures too.

Crazy today. Coffee today.

My apartment is wonderful. It's okay if I don't get into schools. It's okay if I don't finish my applications even. But I have so much feeling absolutely unhinged to look forward to if I do!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Alexis

Well this was pretty funny...

On the phone with A last night, she told me her friend got her a ticket to come visit her in Orange county. Her friend asked if she'd like to go out to Hollywood during her visit...

Me: "When you visited me in LA, I lived in Hollywood... but did we go out at all?"
A: "Yeah... the night we took those pictures of ourselves on the hoods of cars all over..."
Me: "Oh yeah...."
A: "We looked like hookers..."
Me: "Oh yes!!! Yes! I remember that... we were on Highland... Yes, you've definitely been out in Hollywood..."
A: "Yeah... and those girls acutally asked us to be hookers with them."
Me: Oh my God that's right! They were like... they were like..."
A: "Come be hookers with us"
Me: "Yes!"

oh lots of things

On Wednesdays, I go to Grand Central in the morning. As you may know, I always get a seat on the train, being that it's the end/start of the line where I live. So, eventhough I could change at Queensboro Plaza - to the 7, I don't. 59th and Lex to the 4,5,6? No. I'm not risking it. I go all the way to 42nd and switch to the shuttle. Do you know how people are feeling between 42nd Times Square and 42nd Grand Central. Well- from what I can tell by reading facial expression and body language- monumentally shitty every last one of them. At 8:50 am all along 42nd street we be so unhappy! C'mon my people, do you really have somewhere else to be right now that would be so much better? Have you noticed that when that other train is going past when we're walking to track four for the shuttle it's kind of like at disneyWorld when you see part of the roller coaster ride from in-line? I think you haven't!

So I guess I'm chipper. Without coffee, I never would be.

childhood memory: (we're getting in every conceivable blog thing today I've decided):

I am very small! We live in a house in New York City. Oh yes, I am like a girl in a book, in fact I have many personalized books about me and my birthday from mail order. We have a kitchen with black and white checked linoleum. We have jars full of jelly beans. They are not to eat. They are for decoration. The phone rings in the kitchen and I climb a stool and answer it. It is Brian, my friend, and the plumber's son, who lives next door. He says, "You have to get your mom, there's a bomb on your doorstep."

I say, "You're lying. I won't get her. There's not a bomb on the doorstep."

It turned out there was a BUM on the doorstep. This was the first time I heard the word "bum." We never did get rid of the bum on the doorstep and it was troubling to my mother because I loved him and played with his hair.

Imaginary conversation I want to have with my Mom one day.

Mom: What are you doing thanksgiving?
Me: Well, since I've gone to my dad's house for over ten years on Thanksgiving and I really like it, I think I'll go there.
Mom: Oh that's right - you really enjoy celebrating that there. That's a tradition you like. Well so go there sweetheart. You should go there and stay there since that's easier for you and it doesn't mean you hate me or choose him or anything like that because they make a big deal of thanksgiving and you enjoy it so. I'm obsessed with the christmas picture of course, becasue we haven't cultivated any other family tradition really -- but we can take that picture any time, and it's only meaningful to me, obviously -- I mean why would all four of you children lie about despising it? havea good time and try to see us sometime over the weekend though, okay?

More blog things...

I constantly read the blog of Gabriel Delahaye... which is called corporate-casual.com. I have written this here in case he ever googles himself, and finds this blog, and wants to hang out because he is hilarious and I think we should be friends or lovers or something. My blog is not as funny. His is the go-to for consistent hilarity. But I think we'd really enjoy eachother because I like to deconstruct movie posters as much as he does.

Okay.. more soon... let me keep drinking this coffee!!!!! Oh and comment bitches. I mean H and KFR... Idalia is so over won't get therapy and gwazdor is so busy with art. (oh link and watch his video from his show -- it's awe SOME.)

love
Alexis

Also, I appreciate any opportunity to write say or meet at "Houlihan's in Penn Station"

Tombstone possibility. :)

I have no choice

I have to post to the blog because I'm receptioning today and z phones r slow... so it's irrelevant whether I'm compelled to post or not... there's nothing else to do.

The weekend was a good one. Myfreindh and I bought tickets for an Amtrak train to go to Connecticut and then missed the train altogether cus we were lesiurely having a bloody mary and a snack at the Houlihans in Penn Station. Then we got our act together and rented a car, which turned out to be probably an even better plan than the original ride-the-train one. I loved driving the way there --- autonomy and a quicker thinker than myself in charge of the direcs. Perfect conditions. Myfriendh drove back because those Oberlin alums, they party so damn hard -- anyway, I couldn't drive, but Myfriendh did and there you have it - another fall weeekend outside state lines. Superb. Also, I was very impressed with A's art; A is who we were visiting in Connecticut and her painting is very affecting, dark, and lovely.

Then myfriendh stayed over in Astoria when we got back and I got to show off my little neighborhood, the cupcake place, the celing fan, my abilities cutting boxes.

I hope I get inspired to post about something besides my weekend soon. Nothing else coming to mind yet though... Besides, there's nothing quite like missing the train or screwing up the train or any kind of train-realted logistical problem with myfriendh. There is a potential for legend there... still developing.