succeeded in creating a clever subway ad. Congratulations to Duane Reade! It goes:
You know the A, C, and E are also vitamins.
Very clever! Good on them.
xoA
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I feel all pent up and crazy
My energy is all scattered. Am I happy? I'm not not happy but I'm full of energy man and it's scattered.
On Tuesday, after I blogged, this therapist I was internet dating emailed an email called "amends" explaining that he was sorry he dropped off the planet, liked me - it was because he liked me? And I was all - oh, weird- you do that? you don't call because you like someone and you're scared (I've heard that's a myth.) Anyhow it has to do with his psychiatric ex-girlfriend this response of his. We wrote long emails all day...
you know what I can't even do this - I'm too scattered - I've seen a bunch of people, I've given up on the one guy I really want to sleep with - I've been juggling dates - when one stands me up I call another, when I stand one up, he calls another. I have a million things I could work on and work on none. What I want is a watch the leaves change vacation with a hot great in bed boy and to hike, nap, and do it. In the absence of that I have internet dates, friends, and not doing the applying for jobs, writing books, producing my own play, stuff I guess I "should." I've had too much coffee already. I'm in such a RARIN TO GO mood. Somebody slap me. I forgot to wear a slip today and had to spend too much money on one so as not to be effectively naked at work. happy Thursday. should fire my therapist tonight but I probably won't. Will just give him the update I'm far too insane to give you through typing right now.
love
me
On Tuesday, after I blogged, this therapist I was internet dating emailed an email called "amends" explaining that he was sorry he dropped off the planet, liked me - it was because he liked me? And I was all - oh, weird- you do that? you don't call because you like someone and you're scared (I've heard that's a myth.) Anyhow it has to do with his psychiatric ex-girlfriend this response of his. We wrote long emails all day...
you know what I can't even do this - I'm too scattered - I've seen a bunch of people, I've given up on the one guy I really want to sleep with - I've been juggling dates - when one stands me up I call another, when I stand one up, he calls another. I have a million things I could work on and work on none. What I want is a watch the leaves change vacation with a hot great in bed boy and to hike, nap, and do it. In the absence of that I have internet dates, friends, and not doing the applying for jobs, writing books, producing my own play, stuff I guess I "should." I've had too much coffee already. I'm in such a RARIN TO GO mood. Somebody slap me. I forgot to wear a slip today and had to spend too much money on one so as not to be effectively naked at work. happy Thursday. should fire my therapist tonight but I probably won't. Will just give him the update I'm far too insane to give you through typing right now.
love
me
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Well la la la at least I can probably just blog all day as a result of this "I'm coming in 3 hours late on Tuesday" declaration. Truth be told, as ironic and pathetic as I made it seem, I did know, sex or no sex, that it was a recipe for not having to do anything today at the office and how can that be bad?
The late morning subway ride into Manhattan was very restorative. Which brings me to : I wanna get back to: a little something I want to say to KFR.
Have you heard of Lars Van Trier?
Did you like Dogville?
yes it was VERY good but wasn't that annoying to have made a movie about America without ever having been here where the idea was it's a place where everyone is nice to you and then eventually you are completely enslaved by them.
Anyhow KFR yes yes yes you only want to live in non-central places but you don't know about 11:45am Tuesday subway rides here where it's not rush hour and it's humid yet Fall. They are so good, and the fact that you're swimming a bit in thoughts about how you're giving up on this guy, yes, you're giving up - it's already too fraught and you on the asking end, and you won't call wait you might just say blah blah blah--- on the subway at 11:45am I can't explain it- this feels fine and good - everyone's lost in thoughts - you're smiling at these burkhad Muslim girls and their burkhad Mom - and they're all smiling back and kind of even acting a little for you (girl one, making fun of probably her sister who seems to be more of a futzing-with-her-stuff-kind-of-person than girl one: "you see what I'm talking about??? You're seeing this?" ) in this real New York-y dare I say jew-y way (it's all the same- I love it) You're being watched thinking by some guy who appears to definitely be thinking about what you're thinking. You're wondering if you can arrange these thoughts into some kind of stand up act becasue if occasional fucking in New York can be this round-spinning and frustrating then bombing with a stand-up act would just be what? fun perhaps in contrast.
Yes, anyhow, it's good stuff and I never want to hear anyone knock New York but me and then I'll apologize later and you know it.
Another thought it feels good to have when I feel all spun around and maybe a little lonely (starting Sunday I've been feeling a little lonely- who fucking knows. I really wanted to sleep with this guy again.) is Jesus Christ thank fucking Christ I'm not in high school anymore. God was that awful. I mean I know I've had some tough times the past couple years and for reference there's this blog here, but Oh My God oh thank you God for my own apartment and three hours off work to just feel shitty and talk to myself and walk through different rooms saying crazy shit out loud to myself, freaking out, but never ever being 15 again. I know all the blah blah blah shit about my potential and all but there's a part of my heart, very tiny, that actually - I can't believe I'm saying this - there is a secretarial part of my heart. it is very very small. But it's the part that thanks God I have to go into the city, that wants to see my coworkers for some reason, that doesn't want a lot more than to answer the phone for a few hours and just be friendly and kill the day like that.
The shoes around here and the clothes at J Crew and the jewelry look fucking fantastic and yes I said at J Crew.
Do you understand my theme here? This is a mid Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur blogging. It's about longing unfulfilled, gratefulness for the city, for the season, for independence, for busy work, for black ankle boots, for long amber necklaces, long cardigans, paisleid blouses, the privacy to talk to yourself, the spendidness of a brain to drive youself insane with. My body looks good and my hair looks nice and you can surely imagine what it's like for me wanting to strip tease a little J Crew strip tease (not that J Crew clothes have ever ever fit me properly - just let me go here) for a very reticent magician when for some reason this seems not to have occured to him.
But I'm just happy to have feelings whenever I have them and not have to live in New jersey with my parents do you see?
The late morning subway ride into Manhattan was very restorative. Which brings me to : I wanna get back to: a little something I want to say to KFR.
Have you heard of Lars Van Trier?
Did you like Dogville?
yes it was VERY good but wasn't that annoying to have made a movie about America without ever having been here where the idea was it's a place where everyone is nice to you and then eventually you are completely enslaved by them.
Anyhow KFR yes yes yes you only want to live in non-central places but you don't know about 11:45am Tuesday subway rides here where it's not rush hour and it's humid yet Fall. They are so good, and the fact that you're swimming a bit in thoughts about how you're giving up on this guy, yes, you're giving up - it's already too fraught and you on the asking end, and you won't call wait you might just say blah blah blah--- on the subway at 11:45am I can't explain it- this feels fine and good - everyone's lost in thoughts - you're smiling at these burkhad Muslim girls and their burkhad Mom - and they're all smiling back and kind of even acting a little for you (girl one, making fun of probably her sister who seems to be more of a futzing-with-her-stuff-kind-of-person than girl one: "you see what I'm talking about??? You're seeing this?" ) in this real New York-y dare I say jew-y way (it's all the same- I love it) You're being watched thinking by some guy who appears to definitely be thinking about what you're thinking. You're wondering if you can arrange these thoughts into some kind of stand up act becasue if occasional fucking in New York can be this round-spinning and frustrating then bombing with a stand-up act would just be what? fun perhaps in contrast.
Yes, anyhow, it's good stuff and I never want to hear anyone knock New York but me and then I'll apologize later and you know it.
Another thought it feels good to have when I feel all spun around and maybe a little lonely (starting Sunday I've been feeling a little lonely- who fucking knows. I really wanted to sleep with this guy again.) is Jesus Christ thank fucking Christ I'm not in high school anymore. God was that awful. I mean I know I've had some tough times the past couple years and for reference there's this blog here, but Oh My God oh thank you God for my own apartment and three hours off work to just feel shitty and talk to myself and walk through different rooms saying crazy shit out loud to myself, freaking out, but never ever being 15 again. I know all the blah blah blah shit about my potential and all but there's a part of my heart, very tiny, that actually - I can't believe I'm saying this - there is a secretarial part of my heart. it is very very small. But it's the part that thanks God I have to go into the city, that wants to see my coworkers for some reason, that doesn't want a lot more than to answer the phone for a few hours and just be friendly and kill the day like that.
The shoes around here and the clothes at J Crew and the jewelry look fucking fantastic and yes I said at J Crew.
Do you understand my theme here? This is a mid Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur blogging. It's about longing unfulfilled, gratefulness for the city, for the season, for independence, for busy work, for black ankle boots, for long amber necklaces, long cardigans, paisleid blouses, the privacy to talk to yourself, the spendidness of a brain to drive youself insane with. My body looks good and my hair looks nice and you can surely imagine what it's like for me wanting to strip tease a little J Crew strip tease (not that J Crew clothes have ever ever fit me properly - just let me go here) for a very reticent magician when for some reason this seems not to have occured to him.
But I'm just happy to have feelings whenever I have them and not have to live in New jersey with my parents do you see?
It's possible
that this isn't even funny - my current situation. Also it's involved. Myfriendh already knows alllllll about it (skip this one Myfriendh if you are reading - you already know all about it! ;) ) I mean it's kind of funny and I knew my odds were bad but did it anyway. I'm at home because I did some overtime last week and asked for it back in 3 vacation hours this morning thinking that knowing what I did about a certain someone's schedule maybe we'd be staying up late together last night...... or rolling all around now..... but see where I am? see what I'm doing?
I'm pretty deep in he's just not that into you land. I think this land is very very confusing when the sex was good.
It's funny. I don't even know what I want. For example, at first suggestions that this boy seemed to kind of like me my reaction was A) that's not clear and B) he seems kind of preoccupied in a way I don't feel qualified to qualify - don't know what it is, but I wouldn't get too excited. also he;s a magician. I don't know what my stereotype of that might be - but .... that's his main profession so broke? close to broke? That's okay if he's a little broke. Just it was a convenient thing to use with myself to keep myself uninterested. He's a magician. Not a musician.
Anyway, even after he and i had this night that I thought was really really fun, for a couple days I was still like, well that was fun, but I don't think he's boyfriend material. He seems a little preoccupied in a funny way.
Cut to a few days later with no phone calls and I've decided he's preoccupied acting because still waters run deep or something. I mean he's gone ahead and proved my initail reacotion and now I wish it weren't true.
Honestly, the night I went home with him I caught him staring at me and stuff like I was the greatest thing he'd ever seen. What happened?
And What Do I Do? that's the thought I'm doomed to go over and over until I do something - i guess because he and I are life opposites, which is probably what intrigues me so. He clearly loves doing nothing about stuff specifically sexual attraction. I can't live sanely until I do something.
I've already inititaed every post seeing eachother text with him. He always responds, almost never with something you can respond much to in return. So Thursday, I say wanna fuck? Or Friday I say Call me? I think I'm arranging an internet date for Friday.
I mean if this guy got the picture he'd realize it's not like I'm going to wait around on silence right? or beg is this begging? Oh now I want to cry! (which would be nice actually. I'm so frustrated
love
Alexis
more soon on exactly this same topic I presume
I'm pretty deep in he's just not that into you land. I think this land is very very confusing when the sex was good.
It's funny. I don't even know what I want. For example, at first suggestions that this boy seemed to kind of like me my reaction was A) that's not clear and B) he seems kind of preoccupied in a way I don't feel qualified to qualify - don't know what it is, but I wouldn't get too excited. also he;s a magician. I don't know what my stereotype of that might be - but .... that's his main profession so broke? close to broke? That's okay if he's a little broke. Just it was a convenient thing to use with myself to keep myself uninterested. He's a magician. Not a musician.
Anyway, even after he and i had this night that I thought was really really fun, for a couple days I was still like, well that was fun, but I don't think he's boyfriend material. He seems a little preoccupied in a funny way.
Cut to a few days later with no phone calls and I've decided he's preoccupied acting because still waters run deep or something. I mean he's gone ahead and proved my initail reacotion and now I wish it weren't true.
Honestly, the night I went home with him I caught him staring at me and stuff like I was the greatest thing he'd ever seen. What happened?
And What Do I Do? that's the thought I'm doomed to go over and over until I do something - i guess because he and I are life opposites, which is probably what intrigues me so. He clearly loves doing nothing about stuff specifically sexual attraction. I can't live sanely until I do something.
I've already inititaed every post seeing eachother text with him. He always responds, almost never with something you can respond much to in return. So Thursday, I say wanna fuck? Or Friday I say Call me? I think I'm arranging an internet date for Friday.
I mean if this guy got the picture he'd realize it's not like I'm going to wait around on silence right? or beg is this begging? Oh now I want to cry! (which would be nice actually. I'm so frustrated
love
Alexis
more soon on exactly this same topic I presume
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I am very happy
Imaginez ca! The only thing I'm unhappy about is that I'm procrastinating - but maybe at around 3:30 / 4:00 I'll write a couple awesome emails regarding show-I'm-producing and feel better.
Text sent to me from my sister at 8:27:05 this morning: "Always finding new levels on which I can't stand mom"
Remember my recent blog post about hating to hate my mother before 9am? Solidarity! Solidarity in Angst - it grows the heart - it warms the heart to the bottom of its very cockles.
I went on a really really passable date last night. That went like this: virtually no conversation on the internet service because I'm tired of it - he lives in my neighborhood- so last week I was just like Monday - let's do this. Exchange of phone numbers. He called yesterday while I was frantically finally getting my computer back in business at home, trying to prepare to make a soup when I haven't cooked in years, doing some emailing that had to be done, starting up the shower. Well, I hated his voice and I thought I was going to hate him because he was all "are we still on for 8:00?" and I was all NO that's way too soon - didn't I just say I'm in the middle of a bunch of things? - frantic and wondering why I'd ever thought it was a good idea to go out with this ed norton face freak who lives in Queens on a Monday night. He's kinda great though. I live to find fault (hate this about myself and struggle with throughout every first date) so I managed to find a few but, like I said, really really passable. He went for the kisses - he's not an insecure mess who cared if they were awkward or not, he drinks, he smokes, and he spends sundays bicycling 70 - 80 miles!! He designs furniture. He went to school for cabinet making - and now he does that for big name label corporate-ly and is proud about it 'cause he took his craft & skillz and brought them to New York i.e. out of Michigan. He confuses Augustus with Thomas Aquinas and for this reason we will probably be watching us some I,Claudius in the near future.
Maybe I had a good date because a pigeon shat on me on the way to work on Monday morning.
But everything is really good with me right now -- call it the end of summer, and I do. I had to just shake my head as we finished our date at the beer garden and tell him "My life is really just wonderful right now." It's true! I love dating when I'm happy.
And oh, there are other guys too!
And ideas, and good news about the show, and I'm just happy which is nice to blog when I'm not furious/ snide.
Oh but Chrissy - I'm going to a camping wedding this weekend which I'm thinking I feel about like you would feel about. I was telling my coworker friend and she said, "You should tell them you don't really want to feel like a Duggard this weekend" as in that kidnapped girl. I thought of you.
XOXOX
Text sent to me from my sister at 8:27:05 this morning: "Always finding new levels on which I can't stand mom"
Remember my recent blog post about hating to hate my mother before 9am? Solidarity! Solidarity in Angst - it grows the heart - it warms the heart to the bottom of its very cockles.
I went on a really really passable date last night. That went like this: virtually no conversation on the internet service because I'm tired of it - he lives in my neighborhood- so last week I was just like Monday - let's do this. Exchange of phone numbers. He called yesterday while I was frantically finally getting my computer back in business at home, trying to prepare to make a soup when I haven't cooked in years, doing some emailing that had to be done, starting up the shower. Well, I hated his voice and I thought I was going to hate him because he was all "are we still on for 8:00?" and I was all NO that's way too soon - didn't I just say I'm in the middle of a bunch of things? - frantic and wondering why I'd ever thought it was a good idea to go out with this ed norton face freak who lives in Queens on a Monday night. He's kinda great though. I live to find fault (hate this about myself and struggle with throughout every first date) so I managed to find a few but, like I said, really really passable. He went for the kisses - he's not an insecure mess who cared if they were awkward or not, he drinks, he smokes, and he spends sundays bicycling 70 - 80 miles!! He designs furniture. He went to school for cabinet making - and now he does that for big name label corporate-ly and is proud about it 'cause he took his craft & skillz and brought them to New York i.e. out of Michigan. He confuses Augustus with Thomas Aquinas and for this reason we will probably be watching us some I,Claudius in the near future.
Maybe I had a good date because a pigeon shat on me on the way to work on Monday morning.
But everything is really good with me right now -- call it the end of summer, and I do. I had to just shake my head as we finished our date at the beer garden and tell him "My life is really just wonderful right now." It's true! I love dating when I'm happy.
And oh, there are other guys too!
And ideas, and good news about the show, and I'm just happy which is nice to blog when I'm not furious/ snide.
Oh but Chrissy - I'm going to a camping wedding this weekend which I'm thinking I feel about like you would feel about. I was telling my coworker friend and she said, "You should tell them you don't really want to feel like a Duggard this weekend" as in that kidnapped girl. I thought of you.
XOXOX
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