The Queens Center Mall is a wonderful place to spend money. I went yesterday. The stores are virtually empty. I had a fantastic time.
On the way home I was happy, then I stepped into a plastic flimsy ring such as might hold together a stack of newspaper... so when you get both your feet in one of these and don't know it and then take another step, you fall down and only your hands will stop you from cracking open your head. I hurt myself. I thought I must have fucked up my wrist, but actually it was my elbow which swelled and then couldn't be moved. I drank some, swallowed a couple pills, regained the majority of mobility. I've learned (from a man in Wildfowers Bar and Grill named Amaretto... a couple months ago)that the way to know if you have an elbow fracture is if you're in excruciating pain all the time you've fractured it. This is now dull pain and I can now make a ponytail and put on a shirt... but not scratch the back of my neck, so I guess it's sprained.
2006 was tough on the elbows. I'll type something more interesting later maybe.
XO
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2 comments:
The doctor is IN.
Amaretto knew what he was talking about, but you missed it - when you said you thought you'd broken a bone he PRESSED it pretty hard. You just said "Ow!" He said that if it were broken you would've fallen on the floor or done something violent. That makes sense, right? So all you have to do is press it, and if you slap yourself it's broken.
That man should get an honorable stethascope.
From your story it sounds like you HIT your elbow, right? Strains are from stretching the ligament, or breaking it. They hurt when you use the muscle it is attached to, such as when you try to scratch your neck (you could try switching to a milder shampoo). So my diagnosis?
It's probably rabies. Drink plenty of fluids and only go out with people you despise.
It's true. Amaretto pressed my arm to make his point. Web MD told me the bit about excrutiating pain.
I didn't hit my elbow. I sent my ulna up into my upper arm muscles - that's my diagnosis.
Rabies just in time for the office holiday party. Old Yeller meets Miracle on 34th St... well, 50th St, but we've got the spirit.
You ready to rumble Gwazdor?
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