Chicken

Last night, arriving for le date at the Public Library, I went in the 5th avenue entrance and was not in the right place for the talk, but this Indian/Pakistani scholarly dude made some comment about the bag search going in the door... something like "Now why do they do that? What is the thought?" and I was like "Oh, you know, the terrorists hate when we read." Then he said, "Oh that's very clever. What do you mean by that?" And I said "You know.. I thought I was making a joke... but actually the terrorists might hate when we read... close minded and all." The guy was oh so charmed. He showed me where to go since I was in the wrong place and then made much of exchanging numbers, telling me that first we must have a cup of Indian tea and "then if [he] earns [my] trust, then the curried Indian chicken."

Later I was recounting this, and also sort of reviewing my current thought-torture of "Why LA? You were trying to do something... what was it?"

I was saying, no one knows anymore what our current etiquette is. I was "smart" by the time I left LA in that I trusted no one. If you distrust the motives of EVERYONE not priorly known in LA, you'll be right basically one hundred percent of the time.

Taking this attitude on the road and out of LA is not necessarily the thing to do though right? I COULD mistrust every New Yorker, every person, just the same and probably would wind up protecting myself from a certain number of demoralizing experiences as such, but a cup of tea with an intellectual stranger is the reason to live in New York rather than, say, in your attic.

In some sense I think I went to LA and wanted to get jaded. I prided myself on talking back to people who were assholian about "status" when I worked at the restaurant. I fetishized how "real" I was in a city of such fakeness. I accomplished finally disgust at the whole lifestyle rather than romanticization... although now it turns out not thoroughly enough... distance now allows me to romanticize again... but with knowledge now that makes it all pretty bitter.

But the point is, (for now - that labeling thing's still not done. I've gotta get back to work) what's a girl to do? This is also why I think the internet socializing thing has to be considred and can't be a substitute for real life culture.... When a real live human wants to havea cup of tea and presumably come correct, are you a moron if you agree and have a miserable uncomfortable time like you've learned you USUALLY will blindly rolling with the punches like a "free spirit?" I say no. I wanna bring back the times I never lived through -- in moderation -- Because what ever happened to 'let's go smoke this hash and get to know eachother?" Did people turn out to be so creepy that everyone started consistently opting out, just like me?