Things I'm excited about.
* Play about boys. Not trying to be deep. Just having fun. It's fun.
* Friend w/ benefits living for now in real nice house in Morristown. Got out of dodge yesterday. It was NICE to do!
* Fall
* Fall
* Fall
* Holiday West Elm catalog. I'm gonna get a FEW mirror plated furniture items. Hot.
* Fall. Smokin weed in fall. NJ transit in fall.
love
Alexis
Monday, October 15, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
We'll get back to Bazaar
Tomorrow morning maybe.
Now I am going to catalogue what brings me to waiting by the phone (dammit), having the moment when you realize, "no." :( :(
:(
* I meet T. and M. at a reading of T.'s play. M. is really good and very very beautiful. T. asks me out.
* T. and I go out a couple times. Sex not good tho. :( T. goes to England for the year. I ask him to help me get M. to be in my play reading.
* M. does the reading. Is freakin awesome. Then he runs off to the club where he alternately MCs with a hip hop group/ works the door. I go there after. leave. Contrive a text that says sorry i left early but let me know what he's up to.
* He does indeed send lots of texts about when he's playing.
* 1 time I even go there by myself a night he's working the door.
* After the GRE, I meet up with him, bounce around alphabet city. Get a kiss in the cab, accuse "what are you embarrassed of me? You won't kiss me in front of people?" He texts at 2:45 to see if I'm awake. I am not.
* But he calls the next day and we agree to go on what turns into an outstanding date. "Sorry about the insecure/accusatory after that kiss..." "M: "Insecure? No! I like it - be agressive be be agressive!" He's got to run after dinner though - work! So it's two kisses and a growl/bite to my neck and he's off.
* He wants to come over at around 1:45. Ummmm.. okay then... altright yeah, okay.
* But are you leaving soon?
* "band playing anutha fuckin set? Lookin late"
* yeah, I'm already asleep. :(
* So.... finally calls at, uh, 10:00 pm ish the next day... so I stop by his club okay, I am already in Manhattan so.... I hang out at the door. It's all nice. other people there drugging me, talking to me, talking to me, talking to me.... but at 1:00 ish I just wanna go home. some finger intertwining with M. outside. Peck on the lips as i'm going. "It could have worked yesterday. that would have been..." Me: "yeah, but i was asleep." M: "yeah." He'll call tomorrow afternoon...
* ...which is today. It's now 5:24pm. He'll be playing a show tonight... have to be there at, I dunno, 10:30... so what's going on here. If he calls, I'll take it and maybe have to hear something deflectory and have no response. Or the phone is seconds from ringing and he'll be here in a reasonable amount of time. no harm no foul. or he doesn't call today and I have to erase him from my phone.
Life's tough hunh. Continue waiting in my castle, and, ugh, working on myself. Sweet notherapycomputer, what's the status? Are we making any progress here?
XOXOX
Alexis
Now I am going to catalogue what brings me to waiting by the phone (dammit), having the moment when you realize, "no." :( :(
:(
* I meet T. and M. at a reading of T.'s play. M. is really good and very very beautiful. T. asks me out.
* T. and I go out a couple times. Sex not good tho. :( T. goes to England for the year. I ask him to help me get M. to be in my play reading.
* M. does the reading. Is freakin awesome. Then he runs off to the club where he alternately MCs with a hip hop group/ works the door. I go there after. leave. Contrive a text that says sorry i left early but let me know what he's up to.
* He does indeed send lots of texts about when he's playing.
* 1 time I even go there by myself a night he's working the door.
* After the GRE, I meet up with him, bounce around alphabet city. Get a kiss in the cab, accuse "what are you embarrassed of me? You won't kiss me in front of people?" He texts at 2:45 to see if I'm awake. I am not.
* But he calls the next day and we agree to go on what turns into an outstanding date. "Sorry about the insecure/accusatory after that kiss..." "M: "Insecure? No! I like it - be agressive be be agressive!" He's got to run after dinner though - work! So it's two kisses and a growl/bite to my neck and he's off.
* He wants to come over at around 1:45. Ummmm.. okay then... altright yeah, okay.
* But are you leaving soon?
* "band playing anutha fuckin set? Lookin late"
* yeah, I'm already asleep. :(
* So.... finally calls at, uh, 10:00 pm ish the next day... so I stop by his club okay, I am already in Manhattan so.... I hang out at the door. It's all nice. other people there drugging me, talking to me, talking to me, talking to me.... but at 1:00 ish I just wanna go home. some finger intertwining with M. outside. Peck on the lips as i'm going. "It could have worked yesterday. that would have been..." Me: "yeah, but i was asleep." M: "yeah." He'll call tomorrow afternoon...
* ...which is today. It's now 5:24pm. He'll be playing a show tonight... have to be there at, I dunno, 10:30... so what's going on here. If he calls, I'll take it and maybe have to hear something deflectory and have no response. Or the phone is seconds from ringing and he'll be here in a reasonable amount of time. no harm no foul. or he doesn't call today and I have to erase him from my phone.
Life's tough hunh. Continue waiting in my castle, and, ugh, working on myself. Sweet notherapycomputer, what's the status? Are we making any progress here?
XOXOX
Alexis
Monday, October 8, 2007
Page by page
Project to avoid the main project with:
(Most of you know the main project. I plan to go to the museum of television and radio tomorrow morning to start research -- hopefully they have what I need... I'm having a very hard time getting started.)
Page by page of Harper's bazaar October 2007:
Cover:
Here we have Mary Kate Olsen looking grand. A little duck-y in the mouth but that's just her face. Nothing too ridiculous here. They penciled in her eyebrows which looks good in the picture and probably looked garish in real. The only very silly thing is the banner in the upper right corner that says "SHOPPING SPECIAL." Harper's Bazaar has never once run an issue that was not a shopping special. They just did it to have a little gold something in the corner. Worked on me!
page 1/ 2:
A fold out ad for Banana Republic-- 3 of 4 ads in keeping with their current "your clothes can match these 'contemporary' paintings that we created for this photo shoot to match our clothes!" motif. STUPID dress with big dots on it on woman sitting in a gallery in pfront of a painting of black and white dots. DIY people! 2 more pictures like that. In one, the lady's green handbag matches some colored dots behind her on a canvas and the gallery "program" sticking out of the purse. Next one, boring-ass suit that looks like it came from Strawbeery on same gazelle-like woman who looks like she spent two and half hours on her hair and make-up even though her hair's short walking past a painting made of grey lines. Her gallery program has the same "art on it."
Page 3 & 4
Gucci. So far Gucci is winning. This woman looking at me looks like she's going to kill me, but right before she does she's going to burst into tears and drop her weapon because she's pretty much too pretty and weak for this killing gig. She's in front of some art, but god knows it's not dots, and it's the last thing on her mind. Gucci - dangerous, yeah baby.
Page 5 & 6
Estee Lauder "Resilience Lift Extreme." Elizabeth Hurley's head. What is doing the lifting on ms hurley? A whole lot of photoshop. Why wear make-up when you don't have skin? Elizabeth hurley is just blended pixels. no skin at all.
Page 7 & 8
It is getting good. This is what you pay 4 bucks for. Dior is having its models do this new pose I love where the model has food poisoning so she has sucked her stomach back behind her hips and has rolled her shoulders forward so that she can retch really soon!! But she doesn't look unhappy -- we have a mona lisa face on this person about to puke her guts out. the olive green dress on the left doesn't do anything for me. The bright pink satin gown is AMAZING although I really can't think of any event in the entire world it could be worn to. You wear it when you are about to be sick and it's time for the photo shoot!
Page 9 & 10
This is great. On the left, the girl is pulling up her shift dress with both hands because it doesn't fit - she can't fill it out. She's trying to make the killing face but she looks like as soon as you say "What's that face about" she'll just turn away because she's not that smart and can't answer to confrontation. On the right she's in a coat/dress, which is nice, wearing a shit ton of black makeup on her eyes (still) She's trying out a new face. It's a face that goes with no human impulse or emotion. She's a confusing girl and maybe she should be committed.
More soon!
(Most of you know the main project. I plan to go to the museum of television and radio tomorrow morning to start research -- hopefully they have what I need... I'm having a very hard time getting started.)
Page by page of Harper's bazaar October 2007:
Cover:
Here we have Mary Kate Olsen looking grand. A little duck-y in the mouth but that's just her face. Nothing too ridiculous here. They penciled in her eyebrows which looks good in the picture and probably looked garish in real. The only very silly thing is the banner in the upper right corner that says "SHOPPING SPECIAL." Harper's Bazaar has never once run an issue that was not a shopping special. They just did it to have a little gold something in the corner. Worked on me!
page 1/ 2:
A fold out ad for Banana Republic-- 3 of 4 ads in keeping with their current "your clothes can match these 'contemporary' paintings that we created for this photo shoot to match our clothes!" motif. STUPID dress with big dots on it on woman sitting in a gallery in pfront of a painting of black and white dots. DIY people! 2 more pictures like that. In one, the lady's green handbag matches some colored dots behind her on a canvas and the gallery "program" sticking out of the purse. Next one, boring-ass suit that looks like it came from Strawbeery on same gazelle-like woman who looks like she spent two and half hours on her hair and make-up even though her hair's short walking past a painting made of grey lines. Her gallery program has the same "art on it."
Page 3 & 4
Gucci. So far Gucci is winning. This woman looking at me looks like she's going to kill me, but right before she does she's going to burst into tears and drop her weapon because she's pretty much too pretty and weak for this killing gig. She's in front of some art, but god knows it's not dots, and it's the last thing on her mind. Gucci - dangerous, yeah baby.
Page 5 & 6
Estee Lauder "Resilience Lift Extreme." Elizabeth Hurley's head. What is doing the lifting on ms hurley? A whole lot of photoshop. Why wear make-up when you don't have skin? Elizabeth hurley is just blended pixels. no skin at all.
Page 7 & 8
It is getting good. This is what you pay 4 bucks for. Dior is having its models do this new pose I love where the model has food poisoning so she has sucked her stomach back behind her hips and has rolled her shoulders forward so that she can retch really soon!! But she doesn't look unhappy -- we have a mona lisa face on this person about to puke her guts out. the olive green dress on the left doesn't do anything for me. The bright pink satin gown is AMAZING although I really can't think of any event in the entire world it could be worn to. You wear it when you are about to be sick and it's time for the photo shoot!
Page 9 & 10
This is great. On the left, the girl is pulling up her shift dress with both hands because it doesn't fit - she can't fill it out. She's trying to make the killing face but she looks like as soon as you say "What's that face about" she'll just turn away because she's not that smart and can't answer to confrontation. On the right she's in a coat/dress, which is nice, wearing a shit ton of black makeup on her eyes (still) She's trying out a new face. It's a face that goes with no human impulse or emotion. She's a confusing girl and maybe she should be committed.
More soon!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Public Service Announcement
OH MY GOD STOP CALLING ME SWEETHEART STOP CALLING ME SWEETHEART STOP CALLING ME SWEETHEART.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
okay
I have to kill 10 minutes. before toiling the rest of the day.
So Yom kippur:
I don't like how much it's asking God, "Father" for forgiveness. I don't want to equate God whatever it is so much with a father. Fathers are fallible and this one's supposed to be infallible - I guess - I mean that's what they keep saying during the service. But, I'd be much more able to go along with this "father" thing if he were a fallible father because all sorts of bad things happen - if it's a father making decisions then he's making some bad ones. I said it!
But right - I'm telling my father I've been very bad and I'm sorry so sorry or I'll die this year. Just seems perverse.
Meanwhile, as I'm thinking these thoughts, I'm obviously not doing a very good job of atoning.
Meanwhile I am the worst ever at fasting. I basically need to nap so that time will pass and when I wake up I can eat.
So, I have no spiritual life. I cannot fast and atone. I'm awful at it.
But you slip into this weird belief middle-ground I think. The whole time you're fuctioning bi-level : 1) I'm-hungry-and-don't-buy-this level and 2) But-if-youre-listening-God-hear-me-iterate-these-things-you-commanded-be-iterated-and-please-dont-kill-me-and-aslo-I-don't-buy-this level.
-A
So Yom kippur:
I don't like how much it's asking God, "Father" for forgiveness. I don't want to equate God whatever it is so much with a father. Fathers are fallible and this one's supposed to be infallible - I guess - I mean that's what they keep saying during the service. But, I'd be much more able to go along with this "father" thing if he were a fallible father because all sorts of bad things happen - if it's a father making decisions then he's making some bad ones. I said it!
But right - I'm telling my father I've been very bad and I'm sorry so sorry or I'll die this year. Just seems perverse.
Meanwhile, as I'm thinking these thoughts, I'm obviously not doing a very good job of atoning.
Meanwhile I am the worst ever at fasting. I basically need to nap so that time will pass and when I wake up I can eat.
So, I have no spiritual life. I cannot fast and atone. I'm awful at it.
But you slip into this weird belief middle-ground I think. The whole time you're fuctioning bi-level : 1) I'm-hungry-and-don't-buy-this level and 2) But-if-youre-listening-God-hear-me-iterate-these-things-you-commanded-be-iterated-and-please-dont-kill-me-and-aslo-I-don't-buy-this level.
-A
Monday, September 24, 2007
Dating site for Heebies
May make you feel skeevy
Guy says he swims
you think, "yay, masculine..."
But when you meet him he's whiny
head not far from his heiney
He misrepresented his height
but why start a fight?
I don't meen to complain to ya
But raging megolomania!
Please don't misinterpret.
I wasn't at all hurt.
I knew I didn't sweat him
Just didn't want to upset him.
So I didn't mention
his glaring self obsession
Not a question about me
Onward! with his wants and needs
But when he wanted to make me a bloody mary in his special style
I thought fine; this will pass a little while...
Then he pushed me against his counter!
And I said I think this a little fast!
but, darlings, he still tried to mount her!
The man was a toal ass!
couplets can't to justice
To the level of fucked up ness.
He kept saying how he was once a "club kid"
I wanted to upchuck.
I'll try to do really finish this good later. This is coming along only in spurts. :)
XO
May make you feel skeevy
Guy says he swims
you think, "yay, masculine..."
But when you meet him he's whiny
head not far from his heiney
He misrepresented his height
but why start a fight?
I don't meen to complain to ya
But raging megolomania!
Please don't misinterpret.
I wasn't at all hurt.
I knew I didn't sweat him
Just didn't want to upset him.
So I didn't mention
his glaring self obsession
Not a question about me
Onward! with his wants and needs
But when he wanted to make me a bloody mary in his special style
I thought fine; this will pass a little while...
Then he pushed me against his counter!
And I said I think this a little fast!
but, darlings, he still tried to mount her!
The man was a toal ass!
couplets can't to justice
To the level of fucked up ness.
He kept saying how he was once a "club kid"
I wanted to upchuck.
I'll try to do really finish this good later. This is coming along only in spurts. :)
XO
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