light cry

Boy do I feel lonely. Thought maybe I'd tell you about today. I mean I really feel awful though. Or just so silent and empty. More that than awful.

I am not going to tell you stories for now. I'm going to be a little dramatic. Dramatic and yet plainly true. I want and I need at the moment. I need the phone to ring and for it to be someone coming over with I don't care what and open arms and I'll lie in them and just feel like they're here and I'm here and feel fine.

It isn't going to happen though. Cried a little admitting that and feel a little better already actually. I don't know. I need that good feeling to come around soon. It will.

I promise to blog to you about what's been going through my mind - I can't access my blog at work but that's no reason not to write myself an email for posting later while I'm at work on Monday. At work is a good place for this stuff. I'm pretty commited to sitting in silence right now it seems. Anyway this is quite the experience, the human experience, in which you can't just ask people to come hold you - it must be your turn. Ouch I have a headache. I already took two advil. I guess I'm already starting to feel a little better.

love
Alexis