I haven't been writing

because I have too much to say. Or I feel that I observe so much. I've spent the last week in the ceo's office and I hear the emotions that come out of the financial crisis for people who live finance - I don't have many conclusions - I hear the language of money though, and I also know the life, but not by living it. I've never envied the co-ceo, the ceo's son. I work for above the boards people. Amazingly, mind-blowingingly wealthy, but above the boards, and with nothing if not a sense of responsibility. It looks like the weight of the world to me. It's funny that Atlas stands carrying in front of our buliding.

I've been amazed by the boys' club (some girls may be in it too but it's a boys' club) of "libertarian," and "market" and "cycles." I also think there's value to all those ideas. They're ideas, and they do things to the world. Today, about to climb 66 flights to the Top of the Rock (charity event - it was okay actually! Tiring... especially near the top) we found ourselves looking at two "communist" murals that were installed in the 30's. They had gears, and people in overalls and caps... uh... laboring. A (n attractive - how come I haven't noticed this) guy (? 'cuz he's too fratty) notes the communist murals. I say, "The only way to happiness is through hard incessant labor." I say it medium quietly and so I have to repeat it and be like "oh, I mean I think that sounds communist." They're like Yeah, all this art deco stuff is from the thirties. I say, "You know they give tours... we should all go on a tour" (it was a company thing and top of the rock belongs to the company. I probably have to erase this post because it identifies who I work for?) So the first guy says, "Oh I give tours! Yea i give the tours, but I leave out the Communist part?" I go, "why?" Didn't get an answer to that. They say, hey well, isn't that though, isn't it scoialism? You know, now that the government owns a share of the banks, isnt that, I mean isn't it socialism? yeah, says one, "In communism it's like one dictator." So I'm like, well yea, that's what happens, but communism is the idea that the means of production belongs to the people. Dude's like "yea... the proletariat." I'm like, sure, un-hunh. :) !

My point is, A) these guys are very nice guys - too bad we didn't go for brunch. I don't even know for sure that they're part of the boys club I mentioned (but would bet on yes, they are.) but B!... B) Why would you not mention the communism of a communist mural giving a tour of a building that depicts recent history of our market? That communist mural is in a building designed for advancing that market we all love so much. Americans may be undone by their discomfort with ideas. Usually, these guys have a damn script running, where the new deal never really helped the economy and only the war really did that and ... selective memory! turned into a script! Why the simplification? All these people are smart enough not to do it. And also I want to yell that I don't know about your ultra-performing market but isn't it clear that job creation is the thing. Labor - labor is a part of the market fools. You don't have to censor the part about people being communists in the thirties and that being a positive story about our national character. When we had to, we pulled together. Why did we make that a dirty concept later? These guys were totally nice; I just get frustrated when people act turn ideas into dirty words. Call people communists! Call them aliens from Mars! I've always thought the one thing we do have is free speech. It's my, probably naive belief, that the best thing about Americans is that, for the most part, we'd manage to go collectively fucking crazy if they tried to really take away free speech. The dangerous thing is our taking it away from ourselves, equating things that are not the same for I don't know what reason - like idiocy and compassion. That one really worries me. But anyway, if it makes anyone feel better, the people running my company are rich but not discompassionate. I am not in favor of a guillotine at all. I feel optimistic, - they're not enjoying nothing but bad news after nothing but good news for so long. But, at least in New York, Bloomberg, some other big guys, they want to help and they're smart. I just wish they could share my loving feelings for Obama.

That I feel clear about. Taxing the rich is something I feel a bit unclear about. Someone's got to be taxed and so I guess it better be them. Okay. So I actually feel really clear about all of this. I'm just at work too often keeping my mouth firmly shut about it. Glad I could get to this blog post.