I am

actually blogging in bed and can't believe how long it's been since I've done this (not since the old studio ) - bed is good. bed is great.

boys are bad. boys are bad. this post will be not of the graceful witty confessional type but of the shilling for commiseration with Chrissy type. Kelly too?

What is really amazing and unlike how it should be -- but it's a recurring thing and is definitely how it it - is that boys don't call after you have drunk sex. It seems like they will because it was really good and there were all these comments about "next time." Well, it's a damn shame because my response to that (good sex after drinks with a truly nice friend) is sometimes (and who knows where and when? no fast rule): Let me at it (coach)! -- Could we consider having one of these "relationship" things where we have sex and have fun together? but -

okay, but -(and here is the part where I finally figure out what bothers me about the "he's just not that into you" catchphrase phenomenon)

but, if he hasn't called then he "is just not that into me" and out of self respect I move on.

I don't want to get into details of anything. I guess my point is that while I think "he's just not that into you" is a fair enough thing that women should understand -- you definitely don't want to be a girl making up a story for someone who is in fact not that into you, my point is be flexible with yourself, because I, for one, may know a boy is just not that into me, but I'm still gonna call him if we were kind of friends before and make sure I get some more explanation than that. (I mean more explanation than none) He's just not that into me - well sure, I won't start the wedding planning, but as much as I deserve to have that knowledge - that if someone isn't trying then the reason is that they don't care to try, so too do I deserve not to shoulder the considering of it. I'm saying that personally I like to confirm that it was interesting later, that I felt certain ways about it, that we're supposed to be friends and so I would have appreciated a phone call. that's just me. I think it's a little bit bullshit that the solution to how guys'll not call you and you'll feel high and dry is supposedly to figure out "they're not that into you." I think that that's half of it, but you might also need to talk about it - if you have some other existing relationship like friendship or coworkerness or something. That's not cool that its just my job to understand he's not interested. If it's an obvious one night stand that's one thing. or if we're like internet dating or something... in those situations, no phonecalls mean that people just aren't that into eachtoher. Easy. But if there is any pre-existing relationship, then I think "he's just not that into you" is great as a catchphrase that's totally spot-on about where you stand. But it absolves the non-caller, the not-into person just a little too much.

At least me - i felt kind of excited to reconnect with the person inciting this posting. But he didn't follow up about hanging out this weekend so I get he's just not that into me. But it makes me feel better to think about just calling him next week and telling him what I felt and thought was going on. I resent the catchphrase for the same reason I resent so many things that I should just ignore: oversimplifies, acts like I'VE got a problem. And you know, I know when I got problems. this is not my problem. there are other problems.

i like how inarticulate this is. I'm sure chrissy's gonna know what I mean too. She's awesome.

Anyway though - I'm silly- because "he's just not that into you but if you had a preexisting relationship of any kind you can make a phone call to get straight with each other" is a too long catchphrase that would diminish the point of the catchphrase for people who need to hear it because they're annoying their friends. I still like it though, So, as usual, i wish i were queen and made all the rules.

XO