There are so many pricks out there :) ! I had a true blast this weekend - the kind I was worried one just never really has again after age 23. Oh but pricks - no shortage of pricks! I'm glad I have a blog so this abundance of pricks can be "for your consideration" not only for mine. :)

Sometimes it flits through my mind that maybe I've got something to atone for and this is why the sheer number of prickly little pricks I meet and chat with. (score one point for Judaism) But it's probably more empirical than that. (score one point for logic) More likely there are just so many pricks!!!

At the party, while I was at the craft table making an ornament that said "Which do you love more? ... your Dad? or bunk beds?" a prick faced kid arrived and stood next to me and looked at it. He didn't introduce himself so I just sorta nodded. He sorta arrived, stood, and judged. I was glad when he walked away. Bad vibes.

Later, in the smoking room, I wind up next to him while everyone is passing joints. Dialogue!!!!

Him: Oh I feel like I'm just towering over you. Sorry - it feels very dominant.
Me: It's all right.

He has some other conversation with someone else - the thrust of which is something about something he's done or is doing being "incomplete" or "unfinished"

Me: So, Dominant and Incomplete, those// don't really go..
Him: //are big words, I know.

I smoke my joint a little. The DJ was the best for years (FINALLY)- he strikes up "Cupid, draw back your bow" and I start singing. (I sing this song out loud in cubicles several times a week because the website I wind up on to collect my internet dates is called "fastcupid") I'm singing along. I have a nice voice which everyone knows. It's just a nice voice. And viva la midrange.

Prickhead: (acting very excited and interested) Do you know who sings this?
Me: Sam Cooke!
Prickhead: Let's keep it that way.
Me: Hunmn- I see. (pause) You know just a minute ago when you said that thing about big words I wondered if you might be implying that I don't understand big words, but then I thought to myself 'Stop it- you're paranoid,' but now I see I was right: you're a very undercutting person.

Then Baby Love came on and this other guy who had heard this whole exchange and I got out of there to go break it down.

That guy(not entirely a prick): But all you do is treat me bad
Me: woah oh oh oh

These pricks are everywhere. Speaking of that internet service, I checked my filtered messages the other day and Wait I should reproduce this message for you verbatim. Hold on while I log in:(CUpid Please hear my cryyyyyy and let your arrow flyye Straight to muh lovuhs heart for me, for meeeee)

It's from nicksthatname. It says:

There's something very special about you. I noticed your picture immediately, I mean other than the hair which looks like your gardener cut it or your outfit which looks like something you stole from the 90's.

You seem like a cool, interesting woman.

I'm not sure about you though, but I would like to ask you some questions so email me back.

Bill


I'm glad only my friends read my blog because I don't think they'll disbelieve the claim I stake on what little naivete I still have. Like I really don't understand all these pricks with their desire to bring a little more cruelty, a little more undercutting, a little less happiness into the world. I know their insecurity figures into it, but don't you find that knowing that still doesn't give you any sympathy for it? Hey losers I feel insecure ALL THE FUCKING TIME - HASN'T ANYONE HEARD OF CHARM. ?

Today's blog is Charm vs. mean not smart or funny undercutting comments.

I guess if my dress looks like I "stole it from the 90's" that that means it looks like I got it in the nineties, Bill. A human can't steal from a decade. That's not witty. It's like a garbled Keenan and Kel joke - you should go back to Nick Jr. Anyway I got that dress from Neimans Last Call in Austin and the body you can't handle is straight from God, time of birth 1980 time of pubescence circa 1995/1996.

Aside from wanting to stay kind, and maintaining at least that much innocence and I do appeal to you Hebrew God to let me keep that please, I have so little naivete it prevents me from getting laid. All this maturity and understanding. But it's better than the alternative. I did the alternative when I was younger and that was its own thing. I talked to some cool chicks at the party about this actually. What a weird moment it is when you think to yourself 'I DID have fun in my early twenties." Nothing too deep about this thought - the weirdness is merely in the past tense.

But that past tense is eminently important. That's what I'm driving at. How I love love my perfect Megastar - who invited me to the party and is too wonderful all around- At the end of the night she surprised me: She was upset that the hottest guy at the party (who was under 25 for sure and just back from serious world travels) left with the strange misplaced extra ditzy blonde girl who was instantly and obviously infatuated with him. This girl was extra dumb. Talking to her was an excercise in getting really REALLY confused. I felt happy for her when someone gave her a little white and she became able, it seemed, to talk to her paramour without making duck wings and saying "gobble gobble", a problem she had been having earlier when he started talking to her, she had earlier confessed to me. But Megastar was actually upset to see him choose someone so vapid. Hunh. We all have our little pitfalls/wishes-for-an-unreality and I call on Megalotronic all the time to tell her about mine. But it seems my friend with whom I share so very much doesn't know young hot guys are going to go home with the stupid girl who is definitely going to put out. I mean that is the world we live in and specifically the city we live in.

Harsh! Well, meanwhile I feel like Dorothy Parker at parties. Sometimes I dampen the mood I think unfortunately, becoming sort of an arched brow observer, but no one wants to see a 29 year old woman throw herself at a guy. Or rather I don't want to see myself throw myself at a guy. The thing is that that throwing yourself shit worked when I was young. As it did for slow blonde at this party. My average for scoring if I acted like that was probably 78% in LA in '03. I really am too old to try it now though so I have to watch other people do it.

This is all fine. At the horrific office party that I go to every year becasue the sky is blue, I made that cute office boy buy me a stiff drink while everyone else coupled off for better or horrible hangover tragic mistake worse. This blog began with me scared and horrified that I could no longer ho like I once could. And here we are in the time of peace with that. :)

XandO's for days and days and days,
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