when I got so drunk listening to free internet music I just started throwing up Empire State of Mind lyrics on here?
Well I'm about that drunk now -but party here tomorrow - so have a lot of coffee and cleaning to do as early as possible.
love
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Porn Star Nails
Believe it or not I have a million things to do ("believe it or not" given that I just had the whole of xmas break to myself -- the weather was horrendous. :) )
Porn Star nails refers to spending this afternoon throwing down at the nail place. I'm talking spa pedicure, french manicure, eyebrows & lip wax, 50 minute massage. I said thick white line. Porn star nails. People, at this point, I am from Queens.
I need to go to Borders. I think the only location is by Penn station but I should research that before using tomorrows lunch - I'll buy one LSAT book and.... and... something good.
So much work to be done on the house.
When bored at work doing 12th floor reception I should look at STARama: the airplane flattens your drama.
At any rate there is a geneeral gameplan of chardonnay. XO
XOXO
X
A
Porn Star nails refers to spending this afternoon throwing down at the nail place. I'm talking spa pedicure, french manicure, eyebrows & lip wax, 50 minute massage. I said thick white line. Porn star nails. People, at this point, I am from Queens.
I need to go to Borders. I think the only location is by Penn station but I should research that before using tomorrows lunch - I'll buy one LSAT book and.... and... something good.
So much work to be done on the house.
When bored at work doing 12th floor reception I should look at STARama: the airplane flattens your drama.
At any rate there is a geneeral gameplan of chardonnay. XO
XOXO
X
A
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Woof
The weather is horrendous. I had big designs on today and the weather is just too yuck for any of it. I should take a look at my airplane play.
I'm alone for Christmas. What a drag. This happens a lot. It's a little more irking than regular alone time of which I am the grand princess just because I don't know anyone else who is doing it. I'm pretty good. I saw Nine yesterday but it turned out to be so perfect tailor-made to what I find beautiful that it made me cry a little. I love it. I'd missed a call from Ryan - he has a real thing for me but I don't really get him at all - he is always on travels all over the world. He sends me really long facebook messages about what I'm up to that I usually forget to respond to. Anyway yesterday I said he could call. As I was leaving the movie theater I listened to the msg he left and it was like "I guess you're at the movies but you shouldn't be. You should be with your family on Christmas!" Thanks Ryan! I still wound up talking to him eventaully and, you know, explained that I have to go to work Monday and both my families are traveling so.
Drake is having a Unitarian Youth Group reunion tonight in Princeton. I called him - I told him what Ryan said - I said I guess some people's families actually wouldn't go away if one of them couldn't come but... and he cut me off to say most people's families. I don't know if that's true, but it was like there was a feel sorry for yourself fatwa on my head. I still really didn't. I watched Ali g Dvds. Something I'll probably recommence in a minute or two.
Enh. Well I wish you were around and would come pick me up. I'm okay but it's so disgusting outside. I realy don't want to go to Princeton but was also tempted by Drake's enthusiasm to go see Nine with me tomorrow and I could cry and he'd cry with empathy for me he offered. I don't know if I have a big Princeton trip in me in this weather and in a longer blog would tell you how I don't want to wrestle with his romantic idea of me either.
Bored! XOXOXOX
A
I'm alone for Christmas. What a drag. This happens a lot. It's a little more irking than regular alone time of which I am the grand princess just because I don't know anyone else who is doing it. I'm pretty good. I saw Nine yesterday but it turned out to be so perfect tailor-made to what I find beautiful that it made me cry a little. I love it. I'd missed a call from Ryan - he has a real thing for me but I don't really get him at all - he is always on travels all over the world. He sends me really long facebook messages about what I'm up to that I usually forget to respond to. Anyway yesterday I said he could call. As I was leaving the movie theater I listened to the msg he left and it was like "I guess you're at the movies but you shouldn't be. You should be with your family on Christmas!" Thanks Ryan! I still wound up talking to him eventaully and, you know, explained that I have to go to work Monday and both my families are traveling so.
Drake is having a Unitarian Youth Group reunion tonight in Princeton. I called him - I told him what Ryan said - I said I guess some people's families actually wouldn't go away if one of them couldn't come but... and he cut me off to say most people's families. I don't know if that's true, but it was like there was a feel sorry for yourself fatwa on my head. I still really didn't. I watched Ali g Dvds. Something I'll probably recommence in a minute or two.
Enh. Well I wish you were around and would come pick me up. I'm okay but it's so disgusting outside. I realy don't want to go to Princeton but was also tempted by Drake's enthusiasm to go see Nine with me tomorrow and I could cry and he'd cry with empathy for me he offered. I don't know if I have a big Princeton trip in me in this weather and in a longer blog would tell you how I don't want to wrestle with his romantic idea of me either.
Bored! XOXOXOX
A
Monday, December 21, 2009
There are so many pricks out there :) ! I had a true blast this weekend - the kind I was worried one just never really has again after age 23. Oh but pricks - no shortage of pricks! I'm glad I have a blog so this abundance of pricks can be "for your consideration" not only for mine. :)
Sometimes it flits through my mind that maybe I've got something to atone for and this is why the sheer number of prickly little pricks I meet and chat with. (score one point for Judaism) But it's probably more empirical than that. (score one point for logic) More likely there are just so many pricks!!!
At the party, while I was at the craft table making an ornament that said "Which do you love more? ... your Dad? or bunk beds?" a prick faced kid arrived and stood next to me and looked at it. He didn't introduce himself so I just sorta nodded. He sorta arrived, stood, and judged. I was glad when he walked away. Bad vibes.
Later, in the smoking room, I wind up next to him while everyone is passing joints. Dialogue!!!!
Him: Oh I feel like I'm just towering over you. Sorry - it feels very dominant.
Me: It's all right.
He has some other conversation with someone else - the thrust of which is something about something he's done or is doing being "incomplete" or "unfinished"
Me: So, Dominant and Incomplete, those// don't really go..
Him: //are big words, I know.
I smoke my joint a little. The DJ was the best for years (FINALLY)- he strikes up "Cupid, draw back your bow" and I start singing. (I sing this song out loud in cubicles several times a week because the website I wind up on to collect my internet dates is called "fastcupid") I'm singing along. I have a nice voice which everyone knows. It's just a nice voice. And viva la midrange.
Prickhead: (acting very excited and interested) Do you know who sings this?
Me: Sam Cooke!
Prickhead: Let's keep it that way.
Me: Hunmn- I see. (pause) You know just a minute ago when you said that thing about big words I wondered if you might be implying that I don't understand big words, but then I thought to myself 'Stop it- you're paranoid,' but now I see I was right: you're a very undercutting person.
Then Baby Love came on and this other guy who had heard this whole exchange and I got out of there to go break it down.
That guy(not entirely a prick): But all you do is treat me bad
Me: woah oh oh oh
These pricks are everywhere. Speaking of that internet service, I checked my filtered messages the other day and Wait I should reproduce this message for you verbatim. Hold on while I log in:(CUpid Please hear my cryyyyyy and let your arrow flyye Straight to muh lovuhs heart for me, for meeeee)
It's from nicksthatname. It says:
There's something very special about you. I noticed your picture immediately, I mean other than the hair which looks like your gardener cut it or your outfit which looks like something you stole from the 90's.
You seem like a cool, interesting woman.
I'm not sure about you though, but I would like to ask you some questions so email me back.
Bill
I'm glad only my friends read my blog because I don't think they'll disbelieve the claim I stake on what little naivete I still have. Like I really don't understand all these pricks with their desire to bring a little more cruelty, a little more undercutting, a little less happiness into the world. I know their insecurity figures into it, but don't you find that knowing that still doesn't give you any sympathy for it? Hey losers I feel insecure ALL THE FUCKING TIME - HASN'T ANYONE HEARD OF CHARM. ?
Today's blog is Charm vs. mean not smart or funny undercutting comments.
I guess if my dress looks like I "stole it from the 90's" that that means it looks like I got it in the nineties, Bill. A human can't steal from a decade. That's not witty. It's like a garbled Keenan and Kel joke - you should go back to Nick Jr. Anyway I got that dress from Neimans Last Call in Austin and the body you can't handle is straight from God, time of birth 1980 time of pubescence circa 1995/1996.
Aside from wanting to stay kind, and maintaining at least that much innocence and I do appeal to you Hebrew God to let me keep that please, I have so little naivete it prevents me from getting laid. All this maturity and understanding. But it's better than the alternative. I did the alternative when I was younger and that was its own thing. I talked to some cool chicks at the party about this actually. What a weird moment it is when you think to yourself 'I DID have fun in my early twenties." Nothing too deep about this thought - the weirdness is merely in the past tense.
But that past tense is eminently important. That's what I'm driving at. How I love love my perfect Megastar - who invited me to the party and is too wonderful all around- At the end of the night she surprised me: She was upset that the hottest guy at the party (who was under 25 for sure and just back from serious world travels) left with the strange misplaced extra ditzy blonde girl who was instantly and obviously infatuated with him. This girl was extra dumb. Talking to her was an excercise in getting really REALLY confused. I felt happy for her when someone gave her a little white and she became able, it seemed, to talk to her paramour without making duck wings and saying "gobble gobble", a problem she had been having earlier when he started talking to her, she had earlier confessed to me. But Megastar was actually upset to see him choose someone so vapid. Hunh. We all have our little pitfalls/wishes-for-an-unreality and I call on Megalotronic all the time to tell her about mine. But it seems my friend with whom I share so very much doesn't know young hot guys are going to go home with the stupid girl who is definitely going to put out. I mean that is the world we live in and specifically the city we live in.
Harsh! Well, meanwhile I feel like Dorothy Parker at parties. Sometimes I dampen the mood I think unfortunately, becoming sort of an arched brow observer, but no one wants to see a 29 year old woman throw herself at a guy. Or rather I don't want to see myself throw myself at a guy. The thing is that that throwing yourself shit worked when I was young. As it did for slow blonde at this party. My average for scoring if I acted like that was probably 78% in LA in '03. I really am too old to try it now though so I have to watch other people do it.
This is all fine. At the horrific office party that I go to every year becasue the sky is blue, I made that cute office boy buy me a stiff drink while everyone else coupled off for better or horrible hangover tragic mistake worse. This blog began with me scared and horrified that I could no longer ho like I once could. And here we are in the time of peace with that. :)
XandO's for days and days and days,
X
A
Sometimes it flits through my mind that maybe I've got something to atone for and this is why the sheer number of prickly little pricks I meet and chat with. (score one point for Judaism) But it's probably more empirical than that. (score one point for logic) More likely there are just so many pricks!!!
At the party, while I was at the craft table making an ornament that said "Which do you love more? ... your Dad? or bunk beds?" a prick faced kid arrived and stood next to me and looked at it. He didn't introduce himself so I just sorta nodded. He sorta arrived, stood, and judged. I was glad when he walked away. Bad vibes.
Later, in the smoking room, I wind up next to him while everyone is passing joints. Dialogue!!!!
Him: Oh I feel like I'm just towering over you. Sorry - it feels very dominant.
Me: It's all right.
He has some other conversation with someone else - the thrust of which is something about something he's done or is doing being "incomplete" or "unfinished"
Me: So, Dominant and Incomplete, those// don't really go..
Him: //are big words, I know.
I smoke my joint a little. The DJ was the best for years (FINALLY)- he strikes up "Cupid, draw back your bow" and I start singing. (I sing this song out loud in cubicles several times a week because the website I wind up on to collect my internet dates is called "fastcupid") I'm singing along. I have a nice voice which everyone knows. It's just a nice voice. And viva la midrange.
Prickhead: (acting very excited and interested) Do you know who sings this?
Me: Sam Cooke!
Prickhead: Let's keep it that way.
Me: Hunmn- I see. (pause) You know just a minute ago when you said that thing about big words I wondered if you might be implying that I don't understand big words, but then I thought to myself 'Stop it- you're paranoid,' but now I see I was right: you're a very undercutting person.
Then Baby Love came on and this other guy who had heard this whole exchange and I got out of there to go break it down.
That guy(not entirely a prick): But all you do is treat me bad
Me: woah oh oh oh
These pricks are everywhere. Speaking of that internet service, I checked my filtered messages the other day and Wait I should reproduce this message for you verbatim. Hold on while I log in:(CUpid Please hear my cryyyyyy and let your arrow flyye Straight to muh lovuhs heart for me, for meeeee)
It's from nicksthatname. It says:
There's something very special about you. I noticed your picture immediately, I mean other than the hair which looks like your gardener cut it or your outfit which looks like something you stole from the 90's.
You seem like a cool, interesting woman.
I'm not sure about you though, but I would like to ask you some questions so email me back.
Bill
I'm glad only my friends read my blog because I don't think they'll disbelieve the claim I stake on what little naivete I still have. Like I really don't understand all these pricks with their desire to bring a little more cruelty, a little more undercutting, a little less happiness into the world. I know their insecurity figures into it, but don't you find that knowing that still doesn't give you any sympathy for it? Hey losers I feel insecure ALL THE FUCKING TIME - HASN'T ANYONE HEARD OF CHARM. ?
Today's blog is Charm vs. mean not smart or funny undercutting comments.
I guess if my dress looks like I "stole it from the 90's" that that means it looks like I got it in the nineties, Bill. A human can't steal from a decade. That's not witty. It's like a garbled Keenan and Kel joke - you should go back to Nick Jr. Anyway I got that dress from Neimans Last Call in Austin and the body you can't handle is straight from God, time of birth 1980 time of pubescence circa 1995/1996.
Aside from wanting to stay kind, and maintaining at least that much innocence and I do appeal to you Hebrew God to let me keep that please, I have so little naivete it prevents me from getting laid. All this maturity and understanding. But it's better than the alternative. I did the alternative when I was younger and that was its own thing. I talked to some cool chicks at the party about this actually. What a weird moment it is when you think to yourself 'I DID have fun in my early twenties." Nothing too deep about this thought - the weirdness is merely in the past tense.
But that past tense is eminently important. That's what I'm driving at. How I love love my perfect Megastar - who invited me to the party and is too wonderful all around- At the end of the night she surprised me: She was upset that the hottest guy at the party (who was under 25 for sure and just back from serious world travels) left with the strange misplaced extra ditzy blonde girl who was instantly and obviously infatuated with him. This girl was extra dumb. Talking to her was an excercise in getting really REALLY confused. I felt happy for her when someone gave her a little white and she became able, it seemed, to talk to her paramour without making duck wings and saying "gobble gobble", a problem she had been having earlier when he started talking to her, she had earlier confessed to me. But Megastar was actually upset to see him choose someone so vapid. Hunh. We all have our little pitfalls/wishes-for-an-unreality and I call on Megalotronic all the time to tell her about mine. But it seems my friend with whom I share so very much doesn't know young hot guys are going to go home with the stupid girl who is definitely going to put out. I mean that is the world we live in and specifically the city we live in.
Harsh! Well, meanwhile I feel like Dorothy Parker at parties. Sometimes I dampen the mood I think unfortunately, becoming sort of an arched brow observer, but no one wants to see a 29 year old woman throw herself at a guy. Or rather I don't want to see myself throw myself at a guy. The thing is that that throwing yourself shit worked when I was young. As it did for slow blonde at this party. My average for scoring if I acted like that was probably 78% in LA in '03. I really am too old to try it now though so I have to watch other people do it.
This is all fine. At the horrific office party that I go to every year becasue the sky is blue, I made that cute office boy buy me a stiff drink while everyone else coupled off for better or horrible hangover tragic mistake worse. This blog began with me scared and horrified that I could no longer ho like I once could. And here we are in the time of peace with that. :)
XandO's for days and days and days,
X
A
Monday, December 14, 2009
oh
I guess my blog has some kind of strange security breach to illiterate to English advertising for having your credit card stolen. God knows how - simplicity is key foreigns! hahahaha you need someone who speaks English? Might I volunteer for your crime team? I'm ready to lead your crime team. :)
I was going to talk about how great the nutcracker is and how when i was little, so young, on one of my weekends at my dad's while he lived in this great little east side apartment with my step mom i thought i had a stomachache so i made a deal of it and learned everything about life when i was told we couldn't go anymore because it had started and was almost over and that's not how it works.
Xo
I was going to talk about how great the nutcracker is and how when i was little, so young, on one of my weekends at my dad's while he lived in this great little east side apartment with my step mom i thought i had a stomachache so i made a deal of it and learned everything about life when i was told we couldn't go anymore because it had started and was almost over and that's not how it works.
Xo
Tomorrow is a no to one cigarette day
I need to go work and then see my family for a show after work. Hello, I am Bridget Jones. A pretty good movie. She turns the soup blue.
I need to get up over an hour earlier than I usually do is the thing. I am seriously blogging to remind myself to bring black jeans t shirt cardigan belt. I am procrastinating finding those things now and trying to remind myself two beers in to actually wake up earlier, to find them, and to shower.
Maybe I should end this blog tomorrow! Je pense que je regrette avant je publie.
Mes regards plus chaud,
Alexis
I need to get up over an hour earlier than I usually do is the thing. I am seriously blogging to remind myself to bring black jeans t shirt cardigan belt. I am procrastinating finding those things now and trying to remind myself two beers in to actually wake up earlier, to find them, and to shower.
Maybe I should end this blog tomorrow! Je pense que je regrette avant je publie.
Mes regards plus chaud,
Alexis
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Merry Christmas - I want to blog
Hold on little craft in the ocean. Nurture your obsessions and pick up your clothes - the winter is upon you - breathe and breathe and breathe - Your craft is so imperfect so ride each one as one perfect crashing wave at a time. Stay a pace ahead and they're mere hillocks for you to buoy on. A mere length ahead little sailboat, twisted sail.
Hi. Hello. It's rainy and I'm crazy. I am back from a quick smoke in spite of my smokers cough. While smoking I thought, maybe I'll see if I can go in for therapy tomorrow. Isn't that what it's for? For not bothering anyone who doesn't deserve it with the cartography of the paths of anxiety on which you beat the encroaching dry thorned shrubs- flail at them really.
I thought of how he sometimes talks of his group that does group therapy - he'll mention experiences people have talked about in his group. I'll never join a group ever, I thought. Here you go: a very un-humble conviction of mine: Never will I ever join a group for therapy. Oh yes- I've no humility in my sharp sharp judgement here - such a thing is Grotesque. Never. Never. Never never ever ever ever ever.*
I've been thinking about psychology a lot. My latest obsession is Celebrity Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. I've driven myself half mad trying to decide what I think of Dr. Drew. If you are lucky, I'll tell you about it.
I have to change desks now.
XOXO
Alexis
* For Grief or Illness I would actually, but for general malaise? I stand by grotesque.
Hi. Hello. It's rainy and I'm crazy. I am back from a quick smoke in spite of my smokers cough. While smoking I thought, maybe I'll see if I can go in for therapy tomorrow. Isn't that what it's for? For not bothering anyone who doesn't deserve it with the cartography of the paths of anxiety on which you beat the encroaching dry thorned shrubs- flail at them really.
I thought of how he sometimes talks of his group that does group therapy - he'll mention experiences people have talked about in his group. I'll never join a group ever, I thought. Here you go: a very un-humble conviction of mine: Never will I ever join a group for therapy. Oh yes- I've no humility in my sharp sharp judgement here - such a thing is Grotesque. Never. Never. Never never ever ever ever ever.*
I've been thinking about psychology a lot. My latest obsession is Celebrity Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. I've driven myself half mad trying to decide what I think of Dr. Drew. If you are lucky, I'll tell you about it.
I have to change desks now.
XOXO
Alexis
* For Grief or Illness I would actually, but for general malaise? I stand by grotesque.
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