okay then 9/11

I don't have much to say except that I still start to cry when I see it falling. It's been seven years so I guess that it's always going to be something I can't watch without starting to cry. This was very weird when I saw Farenheit 9/11 in LA and people laughed at George Bush reading the goat book and I didn't know how they could do that so close on the footage of the towers falling, I've never felt disengaged from that image. I've never compartmentalized it. I'm not much of a compartmentalizer in any sense - I'm not congratulating myself or anything- but I can tell that some people can see it and put it somewhere different than "no" which I've never had any reaction but.

One day it will be just a famous day in school that kids aren't quiet during the assembly for. That is history and that's how it goes - again I'm not being self-righteous because I can't help crying when I'm looking at it. It's not a relevant thing - it's just a thing. I wonder though -- that school assembly thing is just a theory i just wrote. Maybe that footage will always be so potent that there will always be some reverence for it. But I don't think they should show that footage to kids. On the actual day I felt the media was traumatizing me - showing it over and over -- I'm now watching TV and letting myself see it though.

If I watch tv shows about 9/11 on 9/11 I don't quite know what I'm doing. Torturing myself? So I think it takes the place of Yom Kippur.

I don't know.