Actually, it turns out it's a little too catchy

Rings in your head when you're trying to fall asleep.

I think I am depressed a little. :(

E and I both too into sleeping, and over sleeping. I am also too into Sopranos. Which I thank him all the time for not being angry at me for. But maybe I think he should be. But the soparnos is my favorite thing in the entire world ever. So I thank him for not trying to stop me. but it seems not good that both of us are on the same page about taking a break from all things and just watching Sopranos and over air-conditioning and dreaming lovely dreams. In the morning we wake up and I'm angry, all "We're both depressed. This is NO GOOD."

I am moving!!!!!! I will get a leather couch and a flatscreen TV and I think cable and a desk.

love
Alexis

Music Review - Amy Winehouse

I understand how you might not be so taken with Amy Winehouse as me- say your thing isn't melody as much as mine. But she's so wonderful. I think the reason is sure, the songs are written for the perfect range for a woman never to be stretching and Motown was always the best anyway, but so many singers - pop singers - could have made it sound like no big deal - a gimmick. But Amy Winehouse has feelings and creativity in addition to her really rich voice (and her hot look - who's lying.) She reminds me that eventhough everything's so technology and less contact and more people and sad ecomomics (like always) everyone still loves an amazing singer singing something close to jazz. I like it when things are like the fifties. Less conservative than now I think sometimes (not that it's not good about the end of segregation - just overall conservatism - I digress.) Oh, does anyone know if she writes her own songs?

Exhaustion

Sucks. Last night, friday night, E came over, but I'd fallen asleep and couldn't wake up and sent him home. Not very nice. I was so tired -- he was saying words and i was like, "I can't listen to you talk now!' Work is terrible. Endless and as I said before exremely mundae.

I need sleep though. Such a shame because this means I'm either working, getting over work, or finally getting some sleep. Very bad moods like scattered T stroms.

My dreams were amazing when I finally slept. At the end of the big one, I had a new bedroom to put my stuff into. (In reality I'm supposed to go see my new place today so that's not too amazing) I was talking to the guy who had the place before and a girl from work was there. He said he wanted more dolls, maybe he'd take some of mine off my hands (since the room was a little small to fit all my stuff.) Mary from work said, "Well here: take Skinny Lizzy." I said "Nooooooooo!" ran down to the basement where E. was hanging out with this girl he'd spent the weekend with. (I'd been gone --- becoming an actress or something?) I was wearing one sneaker one sock and nothing else. I started yellng - oh my God you're fucking her -blah blah blah blah - and now I'm supposed to give away Skinny Lizzy. Then I ran upstairs again. This is kind of how i've been acting anyway :) so it's not a strange dream but it was excitingly active. And the new locations were cool. (the new big stange house-- in Montana) I was in a writing school too. And there was this amazing book. Then I pulled stringand it turned into a different kind of book.

Now I'm awake. Don't want to work on play though I really must. maybe in a little while. Very impressive woman talking about how to spread Democracy effectively on channel thirteen. Markets.

I need the girl whose job I'm doing to come back. And I need to move to my new apartment. One more month. I hate this though -- the times when you're biding til contentment. Life's not that long I like to throw away a month. But I guess it's okay. could be worse!!!

I'm supposed to go to a party in Princeton tonight. the host always calls me an "underacheiver" which is really annoying. And whenever we talk at length he at some point says "Mybe you're problem is..." I don't like that sentence starter.

This woman wrote a really great book, Her public telelvision interviewer said he never read such a complicated high-concept book that was so easy to read and he really must commend her.

Apparently the thing I wasw supposed to blog about before was this conclusion E ande I came to aout living in New York which had something to do with you have to "eat shit and like it." If I rememebr what was so brilliant about this I'll blog about it.

XO

Movie Review

Hairspray - would have been wonderful. John Travolta - awful.

XO

True or False: Dead people are determining all we do

The thought process was this: On Friday I was thinking about an absent person a lot. Don't know why. Just indulging some heavy thinking about. Today I got a text that someone I know half a world away passed said person in the street. Maybe the energies are real. I have already concluded that the energies-between-people are just coincidence actually. But if they're not, and maybe they're not, then, when you die, is that your last energy send-out to the living? And how long can it last? True or false: I am magical. When I breathe my last breath, so too my magic.

I am DEPRESSED at work today. It's raining so hard. My job is SO mundane. It's all I can do just to stay put here, much less re-do all these letters for the Fund VII welcome kits.

My play is coming along. The second act gets crazy, unmoored - maybe that's okay. ????? Reading date is Thursday September 20th 7:00 pm. 39th and 5th. I was going to finish it at work today but sent myself the wrong draft. Terrifying but I'm sure it's on my PC at home. pretty sure. So finish it tonight. It's the only thing I want to do right now, bt I guess I'll attend to the welcome kit letters... but I am SO disinclined. Disinclination to work will be my ruin. I so so totally want to nest in my bed with E and watch the rain fall, do laundry, never work again!

XO
Alexis

things I said i'd blog about - I don't remember

In the last few weeks, I've said "I'll blog about it" about a couple things. I don't remember what the first one was. The second one is that Farley left for his MFA program at Berkely. I think I only said that though because it's a neater thing to say than goodbye. So it's kind of a dead end for a blog post- I really have no conflict of feeling about it. It's great he's going there. It will be wonderful. He'll meet cool people everywhere and make outstanding art and hopefully come home for several holidays. I have decided I have to limit my visits to Pennington anyway. On Sunday, after my mom regaled me with a story about how much the high school sucks and I asked her why she thinks this will suprise me when she tells me about it, she confronted me saying I have a strain of hostility against her and, eventhough I think I made some really well articulated and unemotional points about how her feeling that is more likely a projection of what she feels towards me, which she's loathe to identify, I still felt upset and thought that there's a good reason most people visit their homes only rarely.

Love the kids and they don't make me feel bad at all but hopefully they'll come visit me in my new apartment - she of the several rooms - come September first. That's going to be so so so so so so great. There are four rooms in the arpatment I'll be moving to everyone. I plan to accomplish great things when I have a desk space.

What were the other blog things? Probably something from the elevaor and something about dreams. For the elevator today 40% of people won't use sick days as vacation days because "that's dishonest." If that statistic is for real then 40% of people are people I strongly condescend to because they don't differentiate between honesty between people and honesty of the individual towards a corporation and that's some conservative stupid bullshit. It's OKAY to lie to the man. Lying to the man is more honest. I hate old values. I love new values.

About dreams - the best part I think is how one of the parts of your brain that is not doing anything while your sleeping is the part that makes things mutually exclusive. I had this one where I was in both the midwest AND Israel - no problem there- talking to President Harding AND he was my step-dad's relative - still no problem with a child who was my daughter AND my sister and none of this stopped a rollicking narrative of hi-jinks and deeply felt epiphany. The logic we learn is the killing process of best experience. Everyone's heard of lobotomies but I think they should get more advanced about which parts of the brain they can poke to death / extract.

Not as inspired as i should be to post but it'd been a while and I kept talking about this.

If E reads this maybe he can remind me what else I said needed blogging.

XO
A